Flossy is well known to many on the British Dressage Forum as a teller of interesting stories and perhaps the odd joke or two. We have selected a few tales for your pleasure.

Male PMT

The BEF   like all major   sporting  organization  has undertaken to clean the house,  any infringements  of  rules will not be tolerated any more, no more horse , rider, steward or even judges abuse  is acceptable, from now on our sport  will be the epitome of fairness and cleanliness .Riders were informed that the book is open and the hand is writing , every indiscretion  is recorded  and will be dealt with  by the disciplinary tribunal.
The first disciplinary hearing took place on Feb 30th 2012  ,the head of the tribunal was  colonel Digby James  who commanded the royal Hussars regiment during one of the great wars or may be even before that, with him   were sitting lawyers  ,sport psychologists, ordinary  psychologists, doctors and few ordinary mortal beings  that ride in dressage competitions . 
The list of offenders was long and they were all gathered in the waiting room for their turn to face the music. One by one they entered the room heard the allegations, presented their defence and shamefully accepted the sentence given by the tribunal. The tribunal was ruthless like a court marshal in the first world war, riders were fined, banned from riding, banned from owning a horse or any other animal , no explanation  or remorse was accepted,  the tribunal motto was “YOU DID THE CRIME YOU  PAY THE FINE”
One by one the  they returned to the waiting room with a despondent look on their faces  “they would not hear a thing  I said ,  £500 fine  for shouting  b,,,r get off my foot you clumsy fat son of a mare”
The first to go  in  after lunch  in front of the   disciplinary tribunal was Miss Willy be Jones , Miss  W b J  was a listed judge with  many years of experience  , how  ever recently the office received   continuous    complaints about  her   competence as  dressage judge. The complaints backed by photographic    and  audio evidence  showed  miss W b J  un focused and not concentrating  , in many photographs her eyes were clearly shut or she was in a deep conversation  with her writer,  the scoring were erratic ,  comments  un friendly  and many organizers commented how unreliable  she is to arrive on time for her judging duties , a sure case of dereliction of duty
Colonel  Digby  James the head of the tribunal said to  miss  W b J , “these are serious allegations  miss Willy  be Jones  do you have any thing to say why you should not be struck off the judges list?”
Miss W b J replied “these things only happens when I am on my  menstrual   cycle”
The colonel raised his eyes from the papers in front of him and  said  “may I suggest you think about a more   appropriate mode of transport  miss W b J    and then we will give you another chance”
On her return to the waiting room  Miss W b J   relayed   the conversation  to the rest in the room  who agreed  sure advantage to ladies.
Next offender to enter the room was Lady Suckley  which  unfortunately for her, when put under pressure , her language reverts back to her humble origin of a  fish wife from Grimsby harbour, this time it was some thing that was written on her dressage sheet.
The old colonel  reproached her “Lady Suckley we cannot  tolerate such behaviour to wards our judges,  they are all volunteers  (at the moment) which do a sterling job  for no sterling's   and they do not deserve to be told that your husbands  Vietnamese pot belly pig is more intelligent then a dressage judge  (  which is probably true but we don't say so ) “
“I am terribly sorry it is my  PMT    just   before the wrong time of the month every thing irritate me and  I see  red  on the slightest  excuse “
The old colonel consulted the doctor   and  psychologist  , which were sitting   with him on the tribunal, and they both  confirmed that it is a known fact that some women   do suffer from  un controlled tension during specific times of the month.
“May I suggest you limit your sporting activities to other things   during these   periods lady Suckley”  said the colonel and dismissed her .
Lady Suckley   returned  to the waiting room  with a big smile on her face   “SAVED BY THE PMT AGAIN”
Plump lady was  the next one in, with out going  into detail of the  proven  allegations , her  defence was also based on the fact that during certain time  of   the month  she also suffer from a high level of feminine hormones , only in her case it is  past menstrual tension  which effects her until the pre stage kicks in again.  also “SAVED BY THE PMT  AGAIN”
And then it was  Senior Trainer  turn    ,  “ At last we have a man  to deal with, no more pathetic female  hormonal explanations, colonel Digby James thought to him self”
“So Senior Trainer  can you please tell this tribunal why we should  not revoke your BD membership after you brought our organization to such shame,  by riding with your hands in such un classical position” bellowed  colonel  Digby James.
“Well  Sir it is only at certain times when I feel under pressure that I  tense up and ride like this”  Replied ST
“oh yes I do, my wife will confirm it”
Mrs Senior  Trainer  was requested  to come in  and asked to back her husband  explanation, to which she said
“Ohhh yes he  regularly suffers from  P,M,T