Flossy is well known to many on the British Dressage Forum as a teller of interesting stories and perhaps the odd joke or two. We have selected a few tales for your pleasure.

Dont do stress

After somewhat a   lacking  performance  during the  Mount Ballan Regional  Championship  “Halt only (rising optional )championship” ,
Plump Lady approached a Top Trainer  and asked  if he can add her to his book of students,   to help her overcome a small niggling training problem.  
The issue was that Plump Lady during the  competition became  so anxious  ,tense and nervous that  her mind gone blank , she entered the arena  halted at X and then   could not  remember  how to continue , what movement to do next ? .No amount  of shouting an screaming  ,ranting  and raving   from the arena side by  Junior Trainer had any effect  “  WOULD YOU RELAX,  JUST RELAAAAAX  ,WHY ?? DON’T YOU RREEEELLLEEEXXXX!!!!”  he screamed at the top of his voice , she could not remember one movement from the “Halt only (rising optional)   test  and stood there in the middle of the arena completely   immobilized   all 6  feet  rooted  and frozen.
 Before Top Trainer  had a chance to fully consider the pros and cones of such a  move  she continued.
“PPPLLLLeeeeaaaaasssssse  I am sure that  YOU in one lesson can teach  me more  than all  the  previous  (in matter of fact 2789.5  and counting )  TRAINERS I have trained with  over the years , PPPLLLeeeeeaaaassssse.
I am ever so ambitious ,  I can take anything in order to get to WHERE I want to be”  she carried on   “You can make me cry I will not give up , you can be nasty ,cruel  or  crude , I can take it all  I am very very ambitious.
 You can shout and scream at me     I’ll take it “.
I  understand   if you lose  your temper,  get  stressed,  I can take it all  I am very ambitious  you know.”
At that moment  Top Trainer finished  weighing all the pros  and cones  and said  “   OK ,   BUT   let’s make one thing clear!     I don’t do shouting  or  screaming . Telling someone that  their current posture  is doing   TO  their hairy and fairy irreparable damage,  at 0.5 decibel    OR  at  a voice that would have woken the dead  is still telling them  the same thing  about the hairy and fairy   .  And as regard to STRESS    I  never, NEVER !!  did or will do STRESS “.
Junior Trainer  ,    listening to the on-going conversation  ,untypical to his  usual  discreet behavior  of seeing hearing and never saying, Like  Junior Trainers should,  turned toward Top Trainer and said
“YOU  will,    you definitely will    do   STRESS .
Top  Trainer lowered  his eyes gave  Junior a piercing  look  “Jjjuuuniooor   what are  YOU  trying to say    ME?  STRESS??”
“Yes you will”  Junior repeated himself again,  “you will do Stress  PLENTY OF  IT

  YOU HAVEN'T SEEN      her     RIDE ”

Epilogue;  Back at home  searching the results  page of British Dressage website  Plump Lady  realized she actually WON   the Mount Ballan Regional  Championship  “Halt only (rising optional )championship” ,