Flossy is well known to many on the British Dressage Forum as a teller of interesting stories and perhaps the odd joke or two. We have selected a few tales for your pleasure.

Populerizing Dressage

Paddy Murphy  returned home  in the small hours of the night, he smelled of booze  and alcohol  , “what have you been up to?  There was no football match today”  Mrs Murphy  asked  in a disapproving voice  .
“ Me and the boys  we were at a DRESSAGE   show”   was his reply.
“PIGS MAY FLY  you aren’t   fooling me Paddy    you would not know one side of Dressage  even if they ran it in a distillery !!”  was the Mrs  spontaneous reaction.
“On my mother’s  grave   honestly   I just discovered what an entertaining   sport it is , there is MUSIC  , fancy CLOTHS , PRETTY GIRLS  and plenty of free beer  during what they call the HAPPY BREAK”.
“So did you seen  Piaffe  and flying  changes?” The Mrs asked
“WHAT are they ?” Paddy looked confused .
“that’s  what  the horse   do in dressage   a bit like  Irish  river dance  “  got you! You  lying  toed” the Mrs thought to herself.
“YOU ARE RIGHT THERE WAS A HORSE THERE    behind the CHEER LEADERS”  Paddy mumbled   with  an alcohol induced     speech  impediment .
Ok Paddy come out with it where were you ?  this dressage thing is not yours or your mates   kind of sport   “ Mrs  Murphy  raised her voice .
 Paddy  explained   further   that not unlike  other sports  every competitor  has his own  cheer leaders  ,  good looking girls skimpily dressed  jumping and dancing  waving  hands about etc. and until  the Mrs mentioned  it  he has not realized  that the horse in the background  was actually part of the dressage display.
The Mrs  reaction was as expected “ You and your mates are chauvinistic male pigs!! you spent all night   looking at  skimpily dressed girls   and you think you are climbing into my bed  in your state”.
“We had to  “ Paddy said   there was a sign saying that  the performance   will   run in the order of  the   FEI  ranking  and the best   will  perform at the end  OF CLASS ,  we had to  STAY  till the end ”.
“And did they ?” Mrs asked hoping to catch him lying again .
“DEFINITELY THEY DID !!”  Paddy replied first we had the   A-30s  than came the B-36s  , last  but not least was a Swedish  girl DD- 48    FOR US SHE WAS A CLEAR WINNER   even if the judges  did not think so”.