Flossy is well known to many on the British Dressage Forum as a teller of interesting stories and perhaps the odd joke or two. We have selected a few tales for your pleasure.

What women and the FEI has in common

One of the great things about British Forum and the forumists is the support and advice they offer each other, The more personal your problem is ,the more advice and emotional support you will be given by your fellow forumists, if you happened to be a female with a man problem, every woman on earth will be there for you.
Just put on BD forum “I hate men “ before the ink had a chance to dry there will be 290000000000000000000 comments of “they don't deserve you, you are wonderful, b,,,,ds, you don't need them, look at me I am 78 and never needed a man I have a parrot that talk to much ,a cat that ignores me, a dog to make the house dirty and a horse to spend money on, who needs MEN”, you may get one message message of devotion “I will never hurt you” only it is from your gay friend Harry.
Then there are those with deferent experiences and opinions “dont worry you will find your soul mat, stop looking prince charming is just around the corner” , as my old granny used to say” for every girl with a squint in the right eye somewhere in the world there is a man waiting with a squint in the left eye” you just need to find him.
It is obvious that the single horsey female is at disadvantage when it comes to finding a life mate of the opposite sex.
Those that do more often then not admit the experience was not as fulfilling as hoped, which is not always the unfortunate man fault, If only women took as much care when selecting a husband as they do in selecting a horse there will be less misunderstood and bewildered dressage husbands.
When a woman decides that the time has come to get a horse before her biological clock runs out of time and it will be to late to become the new Charlotte D ,she spends days searching internet sites magazines ,dealer yard's what ever , when the chosen one is found a stage two of the plans is implemented, the horse is tried at least 17 times, then a friend is brought to try it least twice, then parents and grand parents advice is thought after, “is he big enough for me ?, do I look good on top”, housing arrangement are checked , the most through and extensive veterinary examination using all modern technical equipment is done, all this is videoed in HD for later reference and only then ,still with some doubts at the back of ones mind, the commitment will be taken to share ones life for better or worth with a new soul mate.
On the other hand how many Dressage Divas will ask their best friend to try their new boy friend or seek parents consent to his suitability as a son in law or a doctor asked for a night out clubbing just in case.
One such lady found herself in a terrible predicament after many years of un intended celibacy she found a man while shopping at Tesco, he complimented her on her choice of rural perfume not realizing she was still in her mucking out clothes, very quickly into the relationship it was clear to her that the modern men have lost some of the primal attributes during evolution , her new husband was a wizard when it came to technological soft ware while she hoped to catch up on years of neglected hard drive. Every night at bed time her husbands last actions would be , first using the I pad he would check BD website so he would know what to expect for the coming week, then using his Lap top he will study the local Riding club activities, a quick fumble under the sheets until the TV remote was located, light off and a sleep of the just.
Our poor Dressage Diva left wondering if Tesco will take him back even with out a refund.
And then an idea came to her head , next evening when her husband came to the bed room his I pad was located on his wife left leg, the Lap top on the right leg and in the middle between both thighs his state of the art SMART PHONE,while she was spread eagled on the bed with out a stich on, with out batting an eye he checked the website on the right and then the one on the left, took a long look in the middle and asked what is this web site in the middle “ I have never seen this one before”
his wife replied “THIS IS THE FEIs dear” and then she added “and I will tell you what they need”