Flossy is well known to many on the British Dressage Forum as a teller of interesting stories and perhaps the odd joke or two. We have selected a few tales for your pleasure.
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Hanging Hay nets
We all know that qualifying as a Dressage Husband is one of the most character building and REWARDING experiences any man can have as the following story will reveal.
A mate of mine holds a secondary job to his Dressage Husband duties as the chief scientist to C.E.N.R. (centre of European nuclear research in Switzerland where they just discovered that the “Big Bang” was not actually as big as previously assumed, I thought it was pretty common knowledge according to most women) although he is considered knowledgeable enough to handle highly sophisticated issues in matters that can effects humanity , he is not deemed competent enough by his wife to perform many of the routine tasks around the dressage yard .
One of the latest causes to a nearly complete D.D.D.D. (Dressage Diva Domestic Dispute.) between these DD and her DH was the issue of hay nets hanging.
The DD was ultra particular that all hay nets should hang absolutely level straight, all at the same height, in perpendicular manner to the ground . Straightness is the essence of dressage it should start in the stable and carry all the way to the arena, was her rational.
Unfortunately this issue caused many disputes , DD insisted that the only way to tie the hay nets is from the right over the left , bellow and over with the result that all hay nets will hang absolutely level straight, all at the same height, in perpendicular manner to the ground , DH with his expertise in physics was adamant that the force of gravity will over rule any method of tying and hay nets will hang absolutely level straight, all at the same height, in perpendicular manner to the ground even if tied from the left over the right , over and bellow . As always last words are of DD who shouted at her departing DH “ YOU MAY KNOW PHYSICS BUT YOU DON'T KNOW HAY NETS THEY WILL NOT HANG STRAIGHT “.
Experience has taught all DHs all over the world that In circumstances like these the only way to pre-empt a long D.D.D.D. Developing is to go spend some time in a nice hot relaxing bath.
While DDs all over the world In circumstances like these , compellingly stare at the hay nets in the hope that laws of physics will be proved for once wrong and miraculously the hay nets will move 0.00001 degree from the perpendicular to prove that science may be science but any thing to do with horses has its own ground rules.
After what seemed like ages DD had to admit that with all the will power she exercised the hay nets were hanging absolutely level straight, all at the same height, in perpendicular manner to the ground , Uncharacteristically she conceded that may be her husband in this rare instance was right and it will be a good financial move to acknowledge it to him in person.
She rushed to the house opened the bath room door just as her DH was getting out of the bath bending forward rear towards her with his legs slightly apart he heard her exited voice “ you will be pleased to know THEY ARE HANGING OBSOLETELY STRAIGHT” to which he replied “Give it a break woman !!! you are not putting any kind of string on THEM whether you agree with science or not”