Flossy is well known to many on the British Dressage Forum as a teller of interesting stories and perhaps the odd joke or two. We have selected a few tales for your pleasure.
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Modernizing dressage
The FEI program to modernize dressage was going ahead as planned ,In charge of it ALL were two new executives, head hunted specifically for the job to MODERNIZE and POPULERIZE the sport of DRESSAGE.
The one was François H,,, a former impresario of a French circus and the other one was Frank Wanker Break the well-known PR guru that helped president Obama develop his anti-foreign policy.
The two became known in the equestrian world as Frenchy&Franky . From their base at the FEI headquarters in Lausanne they have been advising and guiding national federations , show organizers and high profile riders how to glitz up the sport and make it more appealing to a wider newer public .
“ Add some colour to the activities in arena “ their message was , “national costumes and head gear to be used when possible in team competitions (the Americans love it while the Sykes are still working out how to fit the turbans, over or under the crash helmet), International competitions open to the indigenous Equades of the area represented with a dispensations to nations lacking on horses, asses or zebras power, to use what ever quadrupeds available . This new innovation emphasised the diversity and pluralism of our sport but posed some further disharmony with the judges scores when comparing the head position of a camel to a lama’s when working on the bit.
Last but not least was a suggestion that all free style will be ridden to the tune of the relevant national anthem . This idea was embraced wholeheartedly by most of the NFs but caused some confusion when a competitor clearly from the middle east region had his camel performing flying changes to the tune of um papa band with bit of yodelling as vocal enhancement, was that a coincidence or a deliberate move to impress the judges with ones deep traditional heritage of dressage.
The feedback received from all over the world was very positive and new takers were ready to take up the sport . An Amazonian tribe indicated they will ,just as soon as they cleared an area large enough for an arena in the mildest of the rain forest.
As a reward for all their hard work Frenchy&Franky (and family + friends and relatives close and distanced ) were given VIP tickets to the DRESSAGE events at Olympic games allocated, as a gesture of inclusiveness , to Kiribati in the north pacific ocean. (I bet you did not know there was a Kiribati-an nation)
Frenchy&Franky and the entourage sat through the whole show enjoying the all excitement enhancing commentary, The scandalous stories about the participants and the performance that accompanied all this razz matzz .
Towards the end of the competition Frenchy turned to Franky and said “ Tell me frank isn’t dressage competition supposed to have something to do with HORSES ?”
The one was François H,,, a former impresario of a French circus and the other one was Frank Wanker Break the well-known PR guru that helped president Obama develop his anti-foreign policy.
The two became known in the equestrian world as Frenchy&Franky . From their base at the FEI headquarters in Lausanne they have been advising and guiding national federations , show organizers and high profile riders how to glitz up the sport and make it more appealing to a wider newer public .
“ Add some colour to the activities in arena “ their message was , “national costumes and head gear to be used when possible in team competitions (the Americans love it while the Sykes are still working out how to fit the turbans, over or under the crash helmet), International competitions open to the indigenous Equades of the area represented with a dispensations to nations lacking on horses, asses or zebras power, to use what ever quadrupeds available . This new innovation emphasised the diversity and pluralism of our sport but posed some further disharmony with the judges scores when comparing the head position of a camel to a lama’s when working on the bit.
Last but not least was a suggestion that all free style will be ridden to the tune of the relevant national anthem . This idea was embraced wholeheartedly by most of the NFs but caused some confusion when a competitor clearly from the middle east region had his camel performing flying changes to the tune of um papa band with bit of yodelling as vocal enhancement, was that a coincidence or a deliberate move to impress the judges with ones deep traditional heritage of dressage.
The feedback received from all over the world was very positive and new takers were ready to take up the sport . An Amazonian tribe indicated they will ,just as soon as they cleared an area large enough for an arena in the mildest of the rain forest.
As a reward for all their hard work Frenchy&Franky (and family + friends and relatives close and distanced ) were given VIP tickets to the DRESSAGE events at Olympic games allocated, as a gesture of inclusiveness , to Kiribati in the north pacific ocean. (I bet you did not know there was a Kiribati-an nation)
Frenchy&Franky and the entourage sat through the whole show enjoying the all excitement enhancing commentary, The scandalous stories about the participants and the performance that accompanied all this razz matzz .
Towards the end of the competition Frenchy turned to Franky and said “ Tell me frank isn’t dressage competition supposed to have something to do with HORSES ?”