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Flossy is well known to many on the British Dressage Forum as a teller of interesting stories and perhaps the odd joke or two. We have selected a few tales for your pleasure.
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Husbands for Divas
Two Dressage Husbands were sitting together during the Myerscough premier league show ,exchanging life experiences.
The young one asked the senior one “Have you been in this game long?”
The reply was “ 32 years, 7 month , 6 days, 27 minutes and 14 seconds”.
“And you are still at it? “ The young one said with a look of astonishment and admiration “ I have been in it only since July and I am so frustrated, confused and lonely, if I got one ounce of the care and attention that old Birdie gets I’ll be the happiest married man in the world, as it is I have to settle for Safeway economy breakfast cereal while Birdie gets top of the range specifically prepared D&H micronized special mix, dirty house while his bed is dealt with 3 times a day.
I know my place and I know the horses were there before me , yes I should have noticed the breeches under the wedding dress all this and more however I never envisaged the long lonely hours , empty house, DIY meals. DIY other things etc etc etc HOW DO YOU COPE ? the young dressage husband asked the senior one.
The senior dressage husband removed an imaginable speck of dust from his new immaculately washed KK sporting jacket and said . 32 years, 7 month , 6 days 26 minutes and 13 seconds ago , as my newlywed wife was about to leave the wedding party for some dressage competition I told her “ hope you win this BD WALK HALT test SUE”, Since then for 32 years, 7 month , 6 days 26 minutes and 12 seconds I always come home to a homemade meal in a clean house, slippers warmed up by the reclining chair etc etc etc.”
“Whooo how come ? from just saying , hope you win this BD WALK HALT test SUE , how come?”
“Simple my friend “ the senior dressage husband said “ my wife’s name is ANN”
The young one asked the senior one “Have you been in this game long?”
The reply was “ 32 years, 7 month , 6 days, 27 minutes and 14 seconds”.
“And you are still at it? “ The young one said with a look of astonishment and admiration “ I have been in it only since July and I am so frustrated, confused and lonely, if I got one ounce of the care and attention that old Birdie gets I’ll be the happiest married man in the world, as it is I have to settle for Safeway economy breakfast cereal while Birdie gets top of the range specifically prepared D&H micronized special mix, dirty house while his bed is dealt with 3 times a day.
I know my place and I know the horses were there before me , yes I should have noticed the breeches under the wedding dress all this and more however I never envisaged the long lonely hours , empty house, DIY meals. DIY other things etc etc etc HOW DO YOU COPE ? the young dressage husband asked the senior one.
The senior dressage husband removed an imaginable speck of dust from his new immaculately washed KK sporting jacket and said . 32 years, 7 month , 6 days 26 minutes and 13 seconds ago , as my newlywed wife was about to leave the wedding party for some dressage competition I told her “ hope you win this BD WALK HALT test SUE”, Since then for 32 years, 7 month , 6 days 26 minutes and 12 seconds I always come home to a homemade meal in a clean house, slippers warmed up by the reclining chair etc etc etc.”
“Whooo how come ? from just saying , hope you win this BD WALK HALT test SUE , how come?”
“Simple my friend “ the senior dressage husband said “ my wife’s name is ANN”
