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Flossy is well known to many on the British Dressage Forum as a teller of interesting stories and perhaps the odd joke or two. We have selected a few tales for your pleasure.
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Missing diamonds
The subject of dressage and bling has been mentioned many a times among members of the dressage community.
Although the FEI and other governing bodies forbid the application of any ornamental blingy staff on tack or clothing while taking part in official dressage competitions , many riders believe that the time have come for dressage to join the 21st century , as Carl Hester suggested recently in Horse and Dog magazine, at least for the freestyle, riders should be permitted to dazzle up their attire.
Secretly Dressage Divas has been doing it for some time , with discreetly positioned Diamanté items on tack or body.
The latest craze to effect (mostly) the female dressage population is the procedure known as “ Vajazzling “ (please Google should you require further information) . The thought behind this innovation is that; the FEI can stop us using glitter where everyone can see it however they have no say what ladies do with the parts available to be seen for the only few (in most cases), the result is the same , glitter , bling and jewellery where ever placed , make a girl feel good about herself.
One of the first exponent of this new craze was the Diva of all Dressage Divas Lady Suckley . Like everything that Lady Suckley does also her vajazzle was more than most could even dream of , she informed to all that were interested and even those that were not that interested ,that her vajalizzed area was not covered by ordinary blingy common glitter but with real DIAMONDS.
During the preparations for the national championship it was noticed by all that Lady Suckley was no longer coached by her long time regular trainer Marco De Graber , later in the evening Lady Suckley informed her friends that Marco de Graber was no longer her personal dressage trainer and he is forbidden by her husband to set a foot ever again in their estate.
“How come ? WHY? After all these years , what brought all that ?” she was asked repeatedly .
Lady suckle explained “ I was having a dressage lesson with the focus on the position and use of back , Marco De Graber was assisting me in finding the correct motion of hips and pelvis, he prodded my waist into place with one hand while pushing the hips with the other , as we all know this situation can become a little intimate but acceptable as it is for the good aim of achieving a better dressage seat and posture.
“The same night “ Lady Suckley continued “While attending to my lady parts I noticed that few diamonds were missing from my Vajazzlided area , they could not just fallen off!!!!.
“DIDN’T YOU feel his hand down there ?” Her friends asked.
“yes I did” Lady Suckley replied “BUT I did not think he was after the DIAMONDS”
She continued “My husband is furious after all he has done for him and Marco de Graber stole HIS DIAMONDS”
Although the FEI and other governing bodies forbid the application of any ornamental blingy staff on tack or clothing while taking part in official dressage competitions , many riders believe that the time have come for dressage to join the 21st century , as Carl Hester suggested recently in Horse and Dog magazine, at least for the freestyle, riders should be permitted to dazzle up their attire.
Secretly Dressage Divas has been doing it for some time , with discreetly positioned Diamanté items on tack or body.
The latest craze to effect (mostly) the female dressage population is the procedure known as “ Vajazzling “ (please Google should you require further information) . The thought behind this innovation is that; the FEI can stop us using glitter where everyone can see it however they have no say what ladies do with the parts available to be seen for the only few (in most cases), the result is the same , glitter , bling and jewellery where ever placed , make a girl feel good about herself.
One of the first exponent of this new craze was the Diva of all Dressage Divas Lady Suckley . Like everything that Lady Suckley does also her vajazzle was more than most could even dream of , she informed to all that were interested and even those that were not that interested ,that her vajalizzed area was not covered by ordinary blingy common glitter but with real DIAMONDS.
During the preparations for the national championship it was noticed by all that Lady Suckley was no longer coached by her long time regular trainer Marco De Graber , later in the evening Lady Suckley informed her friends that Marco de Graber was no longer her personal dressage trainer and he is forbidden by her husband to set a foot ever again in their estate.
“How come ? WHY? After all these years , what brought all that ?” she was asked repeatedly .
Lady suckle explained “ I was having a dressage lesson with the focus on the position and use of back , Marco De Graber was assisting me in finding the correct motion of hips and pelvis, he prodded my waist into place with one hand while pushing the hips with the other , as we all know this situation can become a little intimate but acceptable as it is for the good aim of achieving a better dressage seat and posture.
“The same night “ Lady Suckley continued “While attending to my lady parts I noticed that few diamonds were missing from my Vajazzlided area , they could not just fallen off!!!!.
“DIDN’T YOU feel his hand down there ?” Her friends asked.
“yes I did” Lady Suckley replied “BUT I did not think he was after the DIAMONDS”
She continued “My husband is furious after all he has done for him and Marco de Graber stole HIS DIAMONDS”
