Flossy is well known to many on the British Dressage Forum as a teller of interesting stories and perhaps the odd joke or two. We have selected a few tales for your pleasure.
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Not always
A New competitor was working in for a CDI test, by the side of the arena ready for any eventuality his “FAITH FULL “ groom ,weighed down by the full kit bag on his shoulder of may be needed equipment , assortments of bits , several kinds of reins,potions and lotions, two bottles of Red Bull and a can of Lucazade .
Wink a nod or a sarcastic comment and “FAITH FULL” groom will be tightening girth, swapping whips ,offering this removing that, at a time like that the only thing “FAITH FULL “ groom wished for was two more pairs of hands and longer legs so he can run and hop faster and higher .
The working in was going to plan and the New competitor did not look completely out of place in spite of the fact this was the first time he was taking part in a sport confined to an enclosed arena and his posture in the saddle looked as comfortable as a bum on a porcupine.
And then the FEI steward approached the New competitor, in a gentle polite tone of voice he said “Sorry Sir the details on the passport in my hand don't seem to match the description of horse you are riding”,
From the side of the arena muttering to himself for all to hear the “FAITH FULL “ groom could be heard “I told HIM , not all FEI officials belong to the 4% male population which are colour blind” . The FEI steward continued
“While we are at it the marks on your horses rear do not match any of the official photos in my guide line book of acceptable and un acceptable training residual markings ,could you please enlighten me as to what they represent ?”
The groom in the background heard again “Tried to explain to HIM that the dressage term driving from behind does not imply chasing the horse with the 4x4 around the arena”.
At that moment the new competitor turned to his Faith Full groom and in the loudest possible voice “YOU ARE THE WORST, STUPID ,USELESS GROOM IN THE WORLD” ,the groom , totally un moved from this unexpected attach, quietly muttered to himself for all to hear “I don't think so SIR . That would be too much of a coincidence”.
The FEI official some what taken back by this unusual employer employee relationship turned towards the groom and asked “Does he ALWAYS SPEAK TO YOU LIKE THIS?”
To which the reply was “Not always only when he is HIGH on AMPHETAMINE, CANNABIS and ALCOHOL”