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Flossy is well known to many on the British Dressage Forum as a teller of interesting stories and perhaps the odd joke or two. We have selected a few tales for your pleasure.
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Equine psychic
The latest innovation in the BEF training for gold program is the recruitment of a specialist Equine Psychic/clairvoyant .
British riders already enjoy the benefits of ; trainers, sport psychologist, physiotherapists and other experts , but now In order to give them the a cutting edge advantage over competitors from other nations , added to the list of experts was a well-known Equine Psychic.
The idea came from members of British Dressage forum where one poster asked the question “Would horse related stress can be helped by the services of an Equine psychic ? is there a better way of dealing with the anxiety of: is ones horse’s is happy in his work? , is he a willing partner in the pursuant of dressage excellence or other competitive sports” .
If the ordinary rider is bogged down with these questions , what goes through the mind of those about to enter an arena at a world championship or Olympic games where there is real test stress of “Is he happy he is here ? does he remember the test ? (the horse ) , I hope he can count to 15 ? , sure I can’t “ and many other questions that circulate through one’s mind before an important competition .
There is only limited information that a trainer ,psychologist (human or equine) and other professionals can provide as to the horse’s state of mind and most of it would be hypothesis any way as no one really knows what goes through a horse’s mind just before he enters the ring in the WEG or other championship , AHa AHa AHa not quite , a Psychic/clairvoyant they know , they can read minds and see the hidden ,at least that what they make us believe they do .
We all know that Charlotte test was slightly marred by Valegro pooing during the first piaffe , it was easily preventable should Charlotte was able to communicate clearly with Valegro “Are you ready boy ? “ she would ask prior entering the stadium via the medium with him relaying Valegro’s reply “I have got to go to the toilet mommy AND I AM NOT USING THE FRENCH PUBLIC ONES YOU KNOW I CANT SQUAT “ .
The BEF realized that in order to prevent the unforeseen a mere £250 a session is money well spent and contracted a well-known Psychic/clairvoyant to assist the other professionals in the team preparations.
On his introduction day with the team members the well-known Equine psychic introduced himself with the opening words “ I KNOW WHAT YOU ALL THINK ABOUT THIS PSYCHIC , YOU THINK IT IS MAMBO JAMBO I KNOW WHAT YOU THINK”
At that moment one rider glanced at another and whispered “This guy is good that exactly what I was thinking”, to which his team mate nodded in agreement “ exactly what I was thinking he is GOOD” .
With confidence and assurance the “Psychic Medium”, which actually was very large and not a medium by any stretch of the imagination, approached the first horse stroked him from the neck over the shoulders and then moved to the rear of the horse , all the time TALKING loudly “good boy, GOOOOD BOOOOYYY “ .Just as he was standing behind the well-muscled hind legs with both hands tickling the horse where horses like (some of them) to be tickled, the horse raised his tail released some gas and then doubled barrelled the individual behind him flinging him 50 yards across the arena face down .
Both the chairperson of the BEF and the high performance manager rushed to the rescue . As they were helping the DAZZALED Psychic on to his feet brushing the arena’s surface off his cloths He mumbled loud enough to for all to hear “F,,,,ing Sh,,,,t I NEVER EXPECTED THAT ONE”
British riders already enjoy the benefits of ; trainers, sport psychologist, physiotherapists and other experts , but now In order to give them the a cutting edge advantage over competitors from other nations , added to the list of experts was a well-known Equine Psychic.
The idea came from members of British Dressage forum where one poster asked the question “Would horse related stress can be helped by the services of an Equine psychic ? is there a better way of dealing with the anxiety of: is ones horse’s is happy in his work? , is he a willing partner in the pursuant of dressage excellence or other competitive sports” .
If the ordinary rider is bogged down with these questions , what goes through the mind of those about to enter an arena at a world championship or Olympic games where there is real test stress of “Is he happy he is here ? does he remember the test ? (the horse ) , I hope he can count to 15 ? , sure I can’t “ and many other questions that circulate through one’s mind before an important competition .
There is only limited information that a trainer ,psychologist (human or equine) and other professionals can provide as to the horse’s state of mind and most of it would be hypothesis any way as no one really knows what goes through a horse’s mind just before he enters the ring in the WEG or other championship , AHa AHa AHa not quite , a Psychic/clairvoyant they know , they can read minds and see the hidden ,at least that what they make us believe they do .
We all know that Charlotte test was slightly marred by Valegro pooing during the first piaffe , it was easily preventable should Charlotte was able to communicate clearly with Valegro “Are you ready boy ? “ she would ask prior entering the stadium via the medium with him relaying Valegro’s reply “I have got to go to the toilet mommy AND I AM NOT USING THE FRENCH PUBLIC ONES YOU KNOW I CANT SQUAT “ .
The BEF realized that in order to prevent the unforeseen a mere £250 a session is money well spent and contracted a well-known Psychic/clairvoyant to assist the other professionals in the team preparations.
On his introduction day with the team members the well-known Equine psychic introduced himself with the opening words “ I KNOW WHAT YOU ALL THINK ABOUT THIS PSYCHIC , YOU THINK IT IS MAMBO JAMBO I KNOW WHAT YOU THINK”
At that moment one rider glanced at another and whispered “This guy is good that exactly what I was thinking”, to which his team mate nodded in agreement “ exactly what I was thinking he is GOOD” .
With confidence and assurance the “Psychic Medium”, which actually was very large and not a medium by any stretch of the imagination, approached the first horse stroked him from the neck over the shoulders and then moved to the rear of the horse , all the time TALKING loudly “good boy, GOOOOD BOOOOYYY “ .Just as he was standing behind the well-muscled hind legs with both hands tickling the horse where horses like (some of them) to be tickled, the horse raised his tail released some gas and then doubled barrelled the individual behind him flinging him 50 yards across the arena face down .
Both the chairperson of the BEF and the high performance manager rushed to the rescue . As they were helping the DAZZALED Psychic on to his feet brushing the arena’s surface off his cloths He mumbled loud enough to for all to hear “F,,,,ing Sh,,,,t I NEVER EXPECTED THAT ONE”
