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Flossy is well known to many on the British Dressage Forum as a teller of interesting stories and perhaps the odd joke or two. We have selected a few tales for your pleasure.
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They dont understand dressage
When all has been looking so rosy for the sport of dressage since the incredible success of the British team at the Olympics, can someone explain to me why, when given the opportunity to promote the sport further with the chance to have a 'dressage nations cup', Britain puts forward what can only be described as a lack lustre team of only three competitors this weekend at Vida ban. Is it that there is no BEF funding? Is it that there is too much else on? etc etc
Interested to know your thoughts.
In order to insure that there will be no more incidents of Britain putting forward what can only be described as a lack lustre teams as recently been highlighted on BD forum , anew plan been instigated.
Prior to any excursion off these island the selected riders will go an assessment session by a senior BD official, a highly respected trainer, judge or knowledgeable parent.
Bearing in mind that the required lacklustreness is mostly found in the remote parts of the country, with limited or no internet /mobile phone connection , the delegated Senior trainer appointed for this job was already in a foul temper before he even reached the remote arena by the side of the mountain on the most in accesses able part of the Scottish Highlands .
After inspecting the lack lustre team of only three competitors applied to be assessed, Senior Trainer was intrigued of the next candidate,
A non de script lady leading a Dark Black Black horse entered the arena ,
Senior Trainer greeted her “and who are we?”
“Grey boy “ she said
“That's an unusual name for a Dark Black “ ST replied
“Yes I know” the non de script lady said “ I wanted to register him with BD as Dark and Black the name given to him by the Dutch Fokker but it was turned down on the ground that BD does not allow any thing that can be construed as racism and sexism
“Off you go show us if you can beat the lacklusterness we have already seen” ST urged her .
The non de script lady turned to her horse and said “ GO ON BL,,,,, sORRY grey boy do the FEI PSG test” to every one amazement un mounted the horse tossed his head and started to go through the PSG movements, suddenly he stopped and in a perfect English without a trace of foreign accent he turned to the non de script lady and asked “where am I going next”
“It is the canter half passes now “ she guided him
After the line of perfect flying changes the Dark Black horse halted, with a smug look on his face turned to the spectators and said “ THEY WERE GOOD WEREN'T THEY !!!”
The Senior Trainer raised his head from his I Phone looked at the speaking horse then at the non de script lady and said “Forget about this CDI nonsense you should take your horse to BRITTEN GOT TALENT”
The non de script lady asked “what the TV show ? “
“yes that's the one”he said
“The show of people singing ,animals dancing and acting?” she asked again
“that's the one “ Senior Trainer said again
After what seemed like ages she turned to Senior Trainer and said “I don't think their judges understand dressage ”
Interested to know your thoughts.
In order to insure that there will be no more incidents of Britain putting forward what can only be described as a lack lustre teams as recently been highlighted on BD forum , anew plan been instigated.
Prior to any excursion off these island the selected riders will go an assessment session by a senior BD official, a highly respected trainer, judge or knowledgeable parent.
Bearing in mind that the required lacklustreness is mostly found in the remote parts of the country, with limited or no internet /mobile phone connection , the delegated Senior trainer appointed for this job was already in a foul temper before he even reached the remote arena by the side of the mountain on the most in accesses able part of the Scottish Highlands .
After inspecting the lack lustre team of only three competitors applied to be assessed, Senior Trainer was intrigued of the next candidate,
A non de script lady leading a Dark Black Black horse entered the arena ,
Senior Trainer greeted her “and who are we?”
“Grey boy “ she said
“That's an unusual name for a Dark Black “ ST replied
“Yes I know” the non de script lady said “ I wanted to register him with BD as Dark and Black the name given to him by the Dutch Fokker but it was turned down on the ground that BD does not allow any thing that can be construed as racism and sexism
“Off you go show us if you can beat the lacklusterness we have already seen” ST urged her .
The non de script lady turned to her horse and said “ GO ON BL,,,,, sORRY grey boy do the FEI PSG test” to every one amazement un mounted the horse tossed his head and started to go through the PSG movements, suddenly he stopped and in a perfect English without a trace of foreign accent he turned to the non de script lady and asked “where am I going next”
“It is the canter half passes now “ she guided him
After the line of perfect flying changes the Dark Black horse halted, with a smug look on his face turned to the spectators and said “ THEY WERE GOOD WEREN'T THEY !!!”
The Senior Trainer raised his head from his I Phone looked at the speaking horse then at the non de script lady and said “Forget about this CDI nonsense you should take your horse to BRITTEN GOT TALENT”
The non de script lady asked “what the TV show ? “
“yes that's the one”he said
“The show of people singing ,animals dancing and acting?” she asked again
“that's the one “ Senior Trainer said again
After what seemed like ages she turned to Senior Trainer and said “I don't think their judges understand dressage ”
