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Flossy is well known to many on the British Dressage Forum as a teller of interesting stories and perhaps the odd joke or two. We have selected a few tales for your pleasure.
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Populerizing Dressage
Paddy Murphy returned home in the small hours of the night, he smelled of booze and alcohol , “what have you been up to? There was no football match today” Mrs Murphy asked in a disapproving voice .
“ Me and the boys we were at a DRESSAGE show” was his reply.
“PIGS MAY FLY you aren’t fooling me Paddy you would not know one side of Dressage even if they ran it in a distillery !!” was the Mrs spontaneous reaction.
“On my mother’s grave honestly I just discovered what an entertaining sport it is , there is MUSIC , fancy CLOTHS , PRETTY GIRLS and plenty of free beer during what they call the HAPPY BREAK”.
“So did you seen Piaffe and flying changes?” The Mrs asked
“WHAT are they ?” Paddy looked confused .
“that’s what the horse do in dressage a bit like Irish river dance “ got you! You lying toed” the Mrs thought to herself.
“YOU ARE RIGHT THERE WAS A HORSE THERE behind the CHEER LEADERS” Paddy mumbled with an alcohol induced speech impediment .
Ok Paddy come out with it where were you ? this dressage thing is not yours or your mates kind of sport “ Mrs Murphy raised her voice .
“YES IT IS !!! SINCE IT BEEN MODERNIZED”
Paddy explained further that not unlike other sports every competitor has his own cheer leaders , good looking girls skimpily dressed jumping and dancing waving hands about etc. and until the Mrs mentioned it he has not realized that the horse in the background was actually part of the dressage display.
The Mrs reaction was as expected “ You and your mates are chauvinistic male pigs!! you spent all night looking at skimpily dressed girls and you think you are climbing into my bed in your state”.
“We had to “ Paddy said there was a sign saying that the performance will run in the order of the FEI ranking and the best will perform at the end OF CLASS , we had to STAY till the end ”.
“And did they ?” Mrs asked hoping to catch him lying again .
“DEFINITELY THEY DID !!” Paddy replied first we had the A-30s than came the B-36s , last but not least was a Swedish girl DD- 48 FOR US SHE WAS A CLEAR WINNER even if the judges did not think so”.
“ Me and the boys we were at a DRESSAGE show” was his reply.
“PIGS MAY FLY you aren’t fooling me Paddy you would not know one side of Dressage even if they ran it in a distillery !!” was the Mrs spontaneous reaction.
“On my mother’s grave honestly I just discovered what an entertaining sport it is , there is MUSIC , fancy CLOTHS , PRETTY GIRLS and plenty of free beer during what they call the HAPPY BREAK”.
“So did you seen Piaffe and flying changes?” The Mrs asked
“WHAT are they ?” Paddy looked confused .
“that’s what the horse do in dressage a bit like Irish river dance “ got you! You lying toed” the Mrs thought to herself.
“YOU ARE RIGHT THERE WAS A HORSE THERE behind the CHEER LEADERS” Paddy mumbled with an alcohol induced speech impediment .
Ok Paddy come out with it where were you ? this dressage thing is not yours or your mates kind of sport “ Mrs Murphy raised her voice .
“YES IT IS !!! SINCE IT BEEN MODERNIZED”
Paddy explained further that not unlike other sports every competitor has his own cheer leaders , good looking girls skimpily dressed jumping and dancing waving hands about etc. and until the Mrs mentioned it he has not realized that the horse in the background was actually part of the dressage display.
The Mrs reaction was as expected “ You and your mates are chauvinistic male pigs!! you spent all night looking at skimpily dressed girls and you think you are climbing into my bed in your state”.
“We had to “ Paddy said there was a sign saying that the performance will run in the order of the FEI ranking and the best will perform at the end OF CLASS , we had to STAY till the end ”.
“And did they ?” Mrs asked hoping to catch him lying again .
“DEFINITELY THEY DID !!” Paddy replied first we had the A-30s than came the B-36s , last but not least was a Swedish girl DD- 48 FOR US SHE WAS A CLEAR WINNER even if the judges did not think so”.
