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Flossy is well known to many on the British Dressage Forum as a teller of interesting stories and perhaps the odd joke or two. We have selected a few tales for your pleasure.
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Who is what
A Senior Trainer was watching the working in arena during the Myerscough Regional championship , in spite of the surface being top of the range deluxe waxed material the amount of dust raised by the horses stampeding about resembled more the Buffalo Bill wild west show than a Dressage competition.
All this action was in preparation for the BD “Halt only test” , un informed spectators could have mistaken the activity as a practice run for the new FEI Grand Prix test , in which competitors have to fit all the compulsory movements in 1 minutes and 22 seconds.
Enough is enough the Senior Trainer thought to himself someone has to put this place under some sort of order , “ Dressage is a sport of precisions, discipline and control, executing a square halt against the clock is neither classical nor modern , the red ribbon on the black stallion is not a prize , it is there for a reason “ GET OUT OF THE FIRING RANGE” the Senior Trainer bellowed at the startled lady that was reaching behind the stallion to inspect the pretty ribbon.
Health and Safety protocol requires an immediate intervention.
The Senior Trainer entered the arena and in an authoritative voice started to create some order in the chaotic arena.
“All Of You AMATEURS on the left hand” he shouted “ YOU professionals on the right hand” and then he started pointing a finger at the individuals as he commanded “You LEFT, you RIGHT , SHE RIGHT HIM LEFT “ and so on “ left , left , right , left , right , right “ until he got them all in an organized files .
As the dust settled and the atmosphere calmed down the puzzled British Dressage steward approached the Senior Trainer and said “This is amazing , what arena control you have !! did you learn this at a UKCC course ? I have been stewarding for 20 years and I can’t tell the difference between an amateurs to the professionals, how do you know Whose what ?“
Simple replied the Senior Trainer “The amateurs they ride with a gobsmacked look on their faces ,mouth wide open, jaw dropped squealing LOOK CARL HESTER IS OVER THERE. The professionals they ride around ignoring every one, earphones on their heads talking to themselves about THEMSELVES”
All this action was in preparation for the BD “Halt only test” , un informed spectators could have mistaken the activity as a practice run for the new FEI Grand Prix test , in which competitors have to fit all the compulsory movements in 1 minutes and 22 seconds.
Enough is enough the Senior Trainer thought to himself someone has to put this place under some sort of order , “ Dressage is a sport of precisions, discipline and control, executing a square halt against the clock is neither classical nor modern , the red ribbon on the black stallion is not a prize , it is there for a reason “ GET OUT OF THE FIRING RANGE” the Senior Trainer bellowed at the startled lady that was reaching behind the stallion to inspect the pretty ribbon.
Health and Safety protocol requires an immediate intervention.
The Senior Trainer entered the arena and in an authoritative voice started to create some order in the chaotic arena.
“All Of You AMATEURS on the left hand” he shouted “ YOU professionals on the right hand” and then he started pointing a finger at the individuals as he commanded “You LEFT, you RIGHT , SHE RIGHT HIM LEFT “ and so on “ left , left , right , left , right , right “ until he got them all in an organized files .
As the dust settled and the atmosphere calmed down the puzzled British Dressage steward approached the Senior Trainer and said “This is amazing , what arena control you have !! did you learn this at a UKCC course ? I have been stewarding for 20 years and I can’t tell the difference between an amateurs to the professionals, how do you know Whose what ?“
Simple replied the Senior Trainer “The amateurs they ride with a gobsmacked look on their faces ,mouth wide open, jaw dropped squealing LOOK CARL HESTER IS OVER THERE. The professionals they ride around ignoring every one, earphones on their heads talking to themselves about THEMSELVES”
