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Flossy is well known to many on the British Dressage Forum as a teller of interesting stories and perhaps the odd joke or two. We have selected a few tales for your pleasure.
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Wonder horse
It was the horse number 4820.3 that lady Suckley tried and from her body language it was clear it was going to be the 4820.3 horse to be rejected.
The sale agent from the German federation of horse sales GMB was totally bewildered , he was in the business for over 47 years and in spite of him thinking he had heard it all , in all languages , he had to admit that Lady Suckley reason after reason for turning a horse down were New even to him.
One horse was to comfortable so not challenging enough , another to uncomfortable so over challenging parts that need not be over challenged . some did not match with her colour coordination scheme, reason after reason that only made sense to her and only her .
At his wits end he asked “VOT OORSE DO YOU VONT MADAM ?”
Her reply reasonable as expected was “ The horse I am looking for is Valegro mark II , (a little better than the mark I as this one will not have Charlotte’s help in negotiating the GP test, but Lady Suckley ), anything else can be just the same “
“Accchhh ZOooo “ said the sale agent from the German federation of horse sales GMB , “YOU VONT A VWONDER HORSE !! , I have many Vwonder ---full horses COME MIT ME MADAM”
The sale agent led Lady Suckley to the large barn and as he was passing each horse he gave Lady Suckley a very detailed information as to the horse’s breeding , attributes , competition record etc etc etc.
As they got to horse number 47 he skipped the next one and proceeded straight to horse number 49.
“wwwaaaayyyy ,haaayyy, whaaaat about number 48 ?” Lady Suckley dragged him back to the ignored horse.
“TIZZE VON IS NOT VOR YOU MADAM” Was the reply.
“Why not?” she asked
“TRUST ME its not for you , LOOK at this black one” was the sale agent reply.
Few horses further down the passage and Lady Suckley “I want to try that horse in box number 49 “
“Madaaaaam TAKE my word” the sale agent tried to reason with her .
Cutting a short story shorter , 30 minutes later the horse was loaded into Lady’s Suckley expending, extending 500k Oaklyn super horse box and a cheque for a similar amount nestling comfortably in the sale agent pocket .
As the sale agent and his assistant were waving their hands to the departing lorry he turned to his assistant and said “I hope you are learning son , no one will teach you that in any collage or business school” .
Lady Suckley drove her horse straight to her trainer’s yard Senior Trainer.
While she was warming the horse up she relayed in explicit details about her German shopping experience and how she managed to procure this WONDER horse from under the Germans noses.
Senior Trainer nodded his head and mumbled “definitely a WONDER horse“
“SO you think it’s a GOOD ONE” Lady Suckley asked enthusiastically .
“I don’t know about that” he said “ but it is a WONDER how YOU
fell to the OLDEST TRICK IN THE TRADE” were Senior Trainers last words.
The sale agent from the German federation of horse sales GMB was totally bewildered , he was in the business for over 47 years and in spite of him thinking he had heard it all , in all languages , he had to admit that Lady Suckley reason after reason for turning a horse down were New even to him.
One horse was to comfortable so not challenging enough , another to uncomfortable so over challenging parts that need not be over challenged . some did not match with her colour coordination scheme, reason after reason that only made sense to her and only her .
At his wits end he asked “VOT OORSE DO YOU VONT MADAM ?”
Her reply reasonable as expected was “ The horse I am looking for is Valegro mark II , (a little better than the mark I as this one will not have Charlotte’s help in negotiating the GP test, but Lady Suckley ), anything else can be just the same “
“Accchhh ZOooo “ said the sale agent from the German federation of horse sales GMB , “YOU VONT A VWONDER HORSE !! , I have many Vwonder ---full horses COME MIT ME MADAM”
The sale agent led Lady Suckley to the large barn and as he was passing each horse he gave Lady Suckley a very detailed information as to the horse’s breeding , attributes , competition record etc etc etc.
As they got to horse number 47 he skipped the next one and proceeded straight to horse number 49.
“wwwaaaayyyy ,haaayyy, whaaaat about number 48 ?” Lady Suckley dragged him back to the ignored horse.
“TIZZE VON IS NOT VOR YOU MADAM” Was the reply.
“Why not?” she asked
“TRUST ME its not for you , LOOK at this black one” was the sale agent reply.
Few horses further down the passage and Lady Suckley “I want to try that horse in box number 49 “
“Madaaaaam TAKE my word” the sale agent tried to reason with her .
Cutting a short story shorter , 30 minutes later the horse was loaded into Lady’s Suckley expending, extending 500k Oaklyn super horse box and a cheque for a similar amount nestling comfortably in the sale agent pocket .
As the sale agent and his assistant were waving their hands to the departing lorry he turned to his assistant and said “I hope you are learning son , no one will teach you that in any collage or business school” .
Lady Suckley drove her horse straight to her trainer’s yard Senior Trainer.
While she was warming the horse up she relayed in explicit details about her German shopping experience and how she managed to procure this WONDER horse from under the Germans noses.
Senior Trainer nodded his head and mumbled “definitely a WONDER horse“
“SO you think it’s a GOOD ONE” Lady Suckley asked enthusiastically .
“I don’t know about that” he said “ but it is a WONDER how YOU
fell to the OLDEST TRICK IN THE TRADE” were Senior Trainers last words.
