Flossy is well known to many on the British Dressage Forum as a teller of interesting stories and perhaps the odd joke or two. We have selected a few tales for your pleasure.
|
FEI Making the sport popular
Junior Trainer requested that Old Trainer will join him in a trip to the FEI convention.
“It is an important international conference called by the FEI to debate and consider the way forward for the sport of Dressage” Junior told Old Trainer.
He continued “ We need people like you with the knowledge of the past , present and hopefully some insight to the future” TO GUIDE THE SPORT IN TRHE RIGHT DIRECTION.
Old Trainer respond was “Waste of TIME ”
“No! No! “ Junior Trainer replied “ it is an opportunity to put our ideas forward of how to make Dressage more popular and interesting to the larger public”.
“Waste of TIME” Old Trainer repeated himself.
After a lot of arm twisting, endless badgering and not insignificant amount of flattering, Old Trainer agreed to join Junior Trainer on the trip up to London to the convention, with one stipulation , “ if the conference looks like with genuine agenda he will stay, however if it turns to the USUAL Moochytietsing kind of Debate , FIVE MINUTES ON THE CLOCK AND OLD Trainer is OUT , He has got better things to do with his time.
Junior and Old trainers entered the hall , the sounds reverberating around were like from the tower of Babylon, people from all over the world congregated to debate and consider how to turn a MINORITY sport to MEDIA and masses FRIENDLY.
As the two of them were taking their allocated seats in the middle row , Old Trainer reminded Junior that “THE CLOCK is ticking ,I am not staying longer than needed it is all Waste of TIME”
The convention was opened by the FEI marketing and promotion director , high lightening how much the FEI would appreciate the opinion of the stake holder in these crucial times. Before he finished a sentence someone shouted from the back of the room “THEY SHOULD RIDE TOPLESS their personalities comes out better”
The marketing and promotion director vetoed it down as in-appropriate for a sport aiming to encompass all cultures and age groups.
Old Trainer was heard by those close by “ I am watching the CLOCK” , With Junior Trainer doing his best to muffle his words , to no avail .
The marketing and promotion director raised his hand and asked “WHAT DID HE SAY??”
“Nothing relevant “ Junior replied.
And then the voice from the back “THEY SHOULD RIDE TOPLESS their personalities comes out better”
“Shut up!! Sit down ! we heard you first time!” was the respond from the other delegates.
With Old trainer repeating again “ I am watching the CLOCK” with the Marketing and promotion director inquiring what was said and junior again doing his best to muffle his words as irrelevant.
Ideas from the floor came thick and fast . Shorten the test, lengthen the test, colour co-ordinated HALT to the music, single movement only test etc. etc. etc.
And in between every suggestion the voice from the back “THEY SHOULD RIDE TOPLESS” with the following reaction from the floor “Shut up!! Sit down ! we heard you first time!”
Old trainer predictably “ I am watching the CLOCK” with the Marketing and promotion director inquiring what was said and junior doing his best to muffle his words as irrelevant.
After suggestion number 1422.5, was rejected by the committee , Old Trainer stood up looked at Junior pointed at his wrist and said “ CLOCK” this time the marketing and promotion director heard it loud and clear, he pointed at Old Trainer looked at all the present people and said “THIS IS THE FIRSE GREAT IDEA I HEARD TODAY !!!!” .
And the rest ladies and gentlemen is History . ( Why we have dressage tests against the clock)
Epilogue;
On the way out of the conference hall Junior Trainer could not avoid hearing a conversation between to foreign delegates ,one asking the other “Gustie , do you remember in days gone by before the current trend of wearing crash helmets what was the head gear used in those days called?”
“TOP HAT, TOP HAT” Was the reply
“Ahaa yes you are correct it is not “ TOPLESS” Gustie said
“It is an important international conference called by the FEI to debate and consider the way forward for the sport of Dressage” Junior told Old Trainer.
He continued “ We need people like you with the knowledge of the past , present and hopefully some insight to the future” TO GUIDE THE SPORT IN TRHE RIGHT DIRECTION.
Old Trainer respond was “Waste of TIME ”
“No! No! “ Junior Trainer replied “ it is an opportunity to put our ideas forward of how to make Dressage more popular and interesting to the larger public”.
“Waste of TIME” Old Trainer repeated himself.
After a lot of arm twisting, endless badgering and not insignificant amount of flattering, Old Trainer agreed to join Junior Trainer on the trip up to London to the convention, with one stipulation , “ if the conference looks like with genuine agenda he will stay, however if it turns to the USUAL Moochytietsing kind of Debate , FIVE MINUTES ON THE CLOCK AND OLD Trainer is OUT , He has got better things to do with his time.
Junior and Old trainers entered the hall , the sounds reverberating around were like from the tower of Babylon, people from all over the world congregated to debate and consider how to turn a MINORITY sport to MEDIA and masses FRIENDLY.
As the two of them were taking their allocated seats in the middle row , Old Trainer reminded Junior that “THE CLOCK is ticking ,I am not staying longer than needed it is all Waste of TIME”
The convention was opened by the FEI marketing and promotion director , high lightening how much the FEI would appreciate the opinion of the stake holder in these crucial times. Before he finished a sentence someone shouted from the back of the room “THEY SHOULD RIDE TOPLESS their personalities comes out better”
The marketing and promotion director vetoed it down as in-appropriate for a sport aiming to encompass all cultures and age groups.
Old Trainer was heard by those close by “ I am watching the CLOCK” , With Junior Trainer doing his best to muffle his words , to no avail .
The marketing and promotion director raised his hand and asked “WHAT DID HE SAY??”
“Nothing relevant “ Junior replied.
And then the voice from the back “THEY SHOULD RIDE TOPLESS their personalities comes out better”
“Shut up!! Sit down ! we heard you first time!” was the respond from the other delegates.
With Old trainer repeating again “ I am watching the CLOCK” with the Marketing and promotion director inquiring what was said and junior again doing his best to muffle his words as irrelevant.
Ideas from the floor came thick and fast . Shorten the test, lengthen the test, colour co-ordinated HALT to the music, single movement only test etc. etc. etc.
And in between every suggestion the voice from the back “THEY SHOULD RIDE TOPLESS” with the following reaction from the floor “Shut up!! Sit down ! we heard you first time!”
Old trainer predictably “ I am watching the CLOCK” with the Marketing and promotion director inquiring what was said and junior doing his best to muffle his words as irrelevant.
After suggestion number 1422.5, was rejected by the committee , Old Trainer stood up looked at Junior pointed at his wrist and said “ CLOCK” this time the marketing and promotion director heard it loud and clear, he pointed at Old Trainer looked at all the present people and said “THIS IS THE FIRSE GREAT IDEA I HEARD TODAY !!!!” .
And the rest ladies and gentlemen is History . ( Why we have dressage tests against the clock)
Epilogue;
On the way out of the conference hall Junior Trainer could not avoid hearing a conversation between to foreign delegates ,one asking the other “Gustie , do you remember in days gone by before the current trend of wearing crash helmets what was the head gear used in those days called?”
“TOP HAT, TOP HAT” Was the reply
“Ahaa yes you are correct it is not “ TOPLESS” Gustie said