Breaking up

One if the saddest things that  I  came to know is the breakup of  a relationship, even amicable breakups  have elements of sadness in them.

In the dressage world  apart from the ups and downs of normal relationships we also have to endure the emotional stress  that trainer and student  relationship breakup  create.

When ever it is brought to the public attention that a student and trainer parted company  a torrent of speculation  start flying in all direction  not only the two are not left to lick their wounds quietly in the privacy  of their stable   they are actually expected to share every sordid little detail , of why and how and whose fault it is , with the whole equestrian community, a Face Book open message is  the norm , each party slagging off the other as the reason  for this unfortunate break up, “I am no longer his star pupil, he got eyes for miss  X ” the aggrieved student will complain,  “HE HAD A LESSON FROM  SO AND SO, would you believe it that Roll Kurist horse abuser, behind my back”  the hurt trainer will confide with every one willing to listen.

Even if the reason for the breakup of  student trainer relationship is logical  and borne from changing circumstances it can still be hurtful, take for instance a local trainer  supporting his star pupil since leading  rein days eventually accept   that he must let go and allow this 47 year old to move to a trainer with more specific specialities , just when he came to term   with this unselfish act, he reads  in the horse and hound that his ex student can not praise his new trainer more for the recent transformation in his riding, “I only had an assessment lesson with this top trainers secretary  and I have learn more then I  did in all my life” this student reveal to the interviewing reporter. This trainer in his next personal development course chose the subject  “how to put into one word what takes others years to say”

On the other hand  there are trainers  that will not miss an opportunity to mention to every one willing to listen that they only  spent time on this student because his  wife/mother/ sister bakes extremely good cakes  (wink wink  get my drift).

The reason given for break ups are many  and  here are few of the common  given explanations .

“I have moved on,

my  new Dutch bred horse does need trainer  that understand Dutch  horses.

He does not understand me, he does understand me but I dont understand  him which actually means I dont understand myself.

The judges do/don't like him.

every body goes to him/her  ( I will tell you why another time)

If he is good enough to teach the likes of me  he is not good enough for me.

I  need to be pushed .

He SHOUTS.

It is not natural

For financial reasons”.

So many reasons all making sense until I heard the  one I have never heard before.

When one Top  Competitor   left  a   Top Trainer     which he was just starting to form a  successful  relationship with  his explanation was  that it was due to religious  in compatibility, he explained   further    “ this Top Trainer thinks he is  God  and I dont”.