Flossy is well known to many on the British Dressage Forum as a teller of interesting stories and perhaps the odd joke or two. We have selected a few tales for your pleasure.

Who shell tell him

Senior Trainer was a way teaching and Junior Trainer his long time assistance was left in charge, As usual JT would use these opportunities to check and assesse if Senior trainers horses were progressing as they should, he felt that it was his responsibility to insure that Senior Trainers horses were properly upwardly mobile and not stuck in some out dated classical mode.
Senior Trainers absence also offered the opportunity for every one to chill out and relax some of the stringent health and safety procedures instigated recently by ST.
Wearing his soft shoes with undone laces dragging along, mobile phone in one ear MP3 player in the other ear cigarette in one hand while with the other he was leading Seniors Trainers black 4 year old stallion back from the paddock.
Young black was very loyal to his master and took it upon himself to up hold his guide lines and teach Junior Trainer a lesson about health and safety rules and correct foot wear in particular,
In an opportune moment when Junior trainer was completely immersed in a telephone conversation with his new boy friend , the black stallion lowered his left front foot exactly on Junior trainer right foot, he paused , put all his equine weight on this one leg and then proceeded to walk as if the whole incident was a complete co incident .
Junior trainers yell must have woken all the dead's in the world,and it created a complete shut down of three net works of mobile phones .(the trouble that o2 had recently)
The pain nearly caused Junior Trainer to loose control and act instinctively, but he managed to gather himself and in a calculated move lifted his hurting leg swung it sideways and then proceeded to give the black stallion a retaliating kick where no stallion cares to be kicked, muttering “I will show you health and safety rules” it was the original leg on leg off technique so popular with professional riders, only in this case it was the stallions leg on and Juniors leg nearly off.
From the window of the kitchen Mrs Senior Trainer watched it all and shouted “Junior you kick a horse like this you will get no horse to ride”
With that kind of beginning no wonder the the riding session lacked most of the elements of the S,O,T or any form of harmony between beast and man .
Junior Trainer was getting more and more annoyed with the black reluctance to be open minded and accept some modern riding techniques, at a moment that he thought no one will notice he employed the scientifically proven technique of legs off, legs on, which means in layman's terms a deliberate violent kick with both legs so hard that the horse grunts and farts all at the same time.
From no where unexpectedly, Mrs Senior Trainers voice was heard “ Junior you kick the horse like this you will have no horse to ride”.
End of the day Junior and Mrs Senior Trainer are in the kitchen when the boss returned from a long day of dealing with endless problems of endless dressage Divas,”my horse is to strong, he will not bend, my legs are sore, does this saddle fit , should I change to the high pommel for better feel, is this nail varnish the right colour for dressage?, I cant do that what will the neighbours think” If Andrew Mitchell thinks that a little parliamentary stress is sufficient excuse to be rude and abusive, let him try and deal with few real life Dressage Divas, he will find out that a day in Westminster is like a day in Buttlings holiday camp .
Senior Trainer falls into his chair with a long awaited hot cup of tea in his hand, just as he is about to take the first sip the stable cat leaps onto his lap, hot tea every where senior trainer is startled jump up like a jet propelled kangaroo and in one instinctive action kicked the cat across the room “you stupide animal look what you have done “
Both Junior and Mrs looked in astonishment as Senior Trainer kicked the cat , it must have been the effect of the scolding tea down the front of his pants.
And then junior Trainer looked at the Mrs and said “shell I tell him or will you”