Flossy is well known to many on the British Dressage Forum as a teller of interesting stories and perhaps the odd joke or two. We have selected a few tales for your pleasure.

Holding the reins

Top trainer was at his wits end, he has been training Plump lady for over 5 years and what ever he said how ever he said it he could not get her to take a proper hold of the reins.
Plump grip over the reins especially the right one was pathetic, fingers open, the little piggy one sticking out in right angle to the perpendicular.
All the horse had to do is sneeze and the reins were pulled out of her hand , every transition up or down involved a re gathering of the reins, by the time she was ready to ride the movement the whole processes had to be repeated.
It would not have been that bad if Plump lady did not complain to Top Trainer in an accusing tone of voice “WHY THIS HORSE IS NOT ON THE BIT” , the insinuation was clearly obvious that if the trainer was as half as good as he suppose to be this horse will be on the bit, classical riding or modern.
Towards the end of a lesson in which Top Trainer repeated the comment “close your hand on the reins” 421 times in every conceivable version , he resorted to what he thought will be something Plump will be able to relate to and understand that “close your fingers on the reins” means just that.
At the top of his voice in a tone that clearly showed his level of frustration he bellowed “FOR F,,,,, SAKE HOLD THE REINS HOW YOU HOLD YOUR HUSBAND YOU KNOW WHAT”
Plump looked at him and replied “I cant ride with the reins in my mouth”