Flossy is well known to many on the British Dressage Forum as a teller of interesting stories and perhaps the odd joke or two. We have selected a few tales for your pleasure.

ML in the arena

Top Competitor was circling the arena prior to his test, All the blue tongues were already wagging, the bell has not gone yet but pictures were all over the internet with comments from assorted sources ,”the neck is to short, the head is to high, he should lower the head, raise the head, why doesn't he engage the horse, that's to much engagement etc. etc.” all this even before the judge rang the bell.
Top Competitor entered the arena executed a perfect halt and then proceeded to do what all male riders do to insure their tests will not be handicapped by pain or discomfort. He pushed his right hand down the front of his breeches fumbled for few seconds found what he was looking for lifted them up pushed them to the side, wiped his hands on his coat lapel and saluted. and off he went in a spanking active trot.
The judge Ms wallaby Jones the 85 year old spinster ,that her only once in life physical contact with the opposite sex was a pre safari medical in 1928 before doctors used latex gloves , looked at the activity in front of her with her eyes nearly popping out, from there after it was clear from the scores that the poor woman was suffering from hallucinations.
The test proceeded not exactly according to plan and the force of gravity won over Top Competitors arm strength , the horses head became closer and closer to his chest (horses chest stupid), and with it the internet images and the detailed analysis of cause and reason and every aspect of Top Competitor life, “that's what happens when you use draw or not use draw reins enough etc. etc.etc.” by the time he approached the end of his test the internet cables were 50 shades of blue. Even the commentator forgot that his roll is impartial, and he should not take sides in a domestic dispute between man and his horse , he offered advice with a running commentary, “GO ON YOU GIVE HIM ONE NOT LIKE THIS MORE LIKE THIS YES YES”
Back in the collecting ring Senior Trainer was waiting his student for an after test honest and professional de briefing , he opened by saying “I understand that you had some difficulties so my only advice is that as first impression is so important you should not ARRANGE YOUR SELF ON THE CENTRELINE LIKE THIS “
“WHY NOT?” asked Top Competitor “ if it makes me sit better it has to be done, what about all these women fiddling with and fixing their bras in public.
“I don't think you should do it, it will lead to other things” repeated Senior Trainer.
“What things? asked Top Competitor
“like making love in the arena one day”
“NO CHANCE FOR THAT do you think I need all these people telling me what I am doing WRONG, ITS ENOUGH MY WIFE DOES!!!!” ended Top Competitor