Flossy is well known to many on the British Dressage Forum as a teller of interesting stories and perhaps the odd joke or two. We have selected a few tales for your pleasure.

Olympic steward

One of the advantages of the Olympic game taking place in London is the opportunities it offer many of us to get involved.
While the Olympic committee looked after the general organization ,they were assisted by hundreds of volunteers all giving their time and skills free in order to insure the show is efficiently run.
Vets are in charge of horses well fair, Doctors are situated by the x country course should riders suffer from un expected head ach , judges writers scorers , if you have a skill there is a job for you, and the benefits are ring side seat and a life time experience.
Obviously the dressage was run by our national body British Dressage, officials and ordinary members filled every required roll , from sheet collectors to ring side steward.
For the important but delicate post of collecting ring steward was selected and appointed our most experienced and efficient official in these matters , The moderator from the BD forum , Who else is better suitable to lay down the law, keep things in order and dish out suspensions and penalties when required, then the person that does it every day of her/her life.
This fine lady, from the generation and attitude that ran the empire, situated her self by the collecting ring, equipped with camcorder, timing machines, FEI drawings and rule book and most importantly her eagle observant eyes, years of scouring the BD forum gave her the in built instinct of what is right or wrong in this world .
So far she was redundant
No RK rs no LDP rounder's, the working in arena looks suspiciously un eventful , apart from the odd ADP you would have thought it was PC show , nothing had the nose bellow horizontal .even the language was equally restrained, the odd exclamation the” B,,,K B,,D” will not bend referred to ones horse and was not deemed raciest, Until one European horse that never spent a moment of his adult life out of an indoor school ,caught a glimpse of the London sky line, his first reaction was to try and pip over the London eye, nearly blinding his rider with his pointed ears, after a lengthy period of persuasion the rider managed to convince the horse that he rather looked at what is underneath him then what is above him. At that moment the ring side steward approached and reproached the exhausted rider, “YOUNG MAN ARE YOU AWARE THAT YOUR HORSES HEAD HAS BEEN POSITIONED BEHIND THE VERTICAL,UNDER THE HORIZONTAL AND BEYOND THE PERPENDICULAR FOR THE LAST 5 MINUTES AND 24 SECONDS, YOU HAVE BEEN RIDING YOUR HORSE IN RRRRROOOOOLLL KUUUUURRRRE.
The European rider in a very defensive voice replied “It must be the barb wire which is wrapped around the bit causing him to over bend”
Our BD moderator , in her most intimidating voice, “you put barb wire around the bit”
“Only because I had some left over from what I normally put on my boots”replied the European competitor.
The BD forum moderator fishing for her camera “barb wire around the boots??????”
The European competitor continued “ I ran out of hedgehog skin , I used it all under the noseband “
For the first time in her life the appointed saviour of the world encountered something even too big for her to deal with all by her self. Hand waving diagrams flying , stuttering in excitement into the walky talky , she summoned the chief FEI disciplinary steward “I COUGHT HIM YOU HANG HIM” she shouted repeatedly at the steward.
The chief FEI steward approached the European rider, and very quietly and politely, inquired, “can I see the barb wire in the horses mouth please”
“What barb wire in the mouth? have a look nothing there “replied the rider
“can I check the spurs?, well they are clean too (nice cavalio boots how much were they ?)” said the steward
“BUT you do have hedgehog skin under the nose band I understand”
Some what irate the rider asked “WHO HAVE BEEN TELLING YOU ALL THIS NONSENSE”
The steward pointed at the BD forum moderator and said “that lady over there from British Dressage”
The rider sniggered and replied “ I BET SHE ALSO TOLD YOU I HAVE BEEN RIDING IN ROLL KUR all this time “