Flossy is well known to many on the British Dressage Forum as a teller of interesting stories and perhaps the odd joke or two. We have selected a few tales for your pleasure.

I am wet

The lack of rain has been a concern to many ,shortage of hay, hose ban and all the other restrictions that come with the shortage of water, but it is all a matter of management and planning in order to insure adequate supply of water all is required is to run a Pet Plan dressage championship,not only will it insure that half the annual rain fall will descend upon earth at that time it is also possible to guarantee that all this water will concentrate within the defined borders of a 20x60 arena of your choice.This phenomena is so well documented that even the north American Indians gave up the traditional rain dance in favour of galloping their ponies in small confined spaces the American round pen, any body that took part in the Pet Plan championship will support this argument fully.
Nothing like the Brits to ignore the elements, riders trainers spectators alike all soaked to the bones are there, no withdrawals no moaning or complaining just the British spirit “WE won the war “ attitude.
How ever some small changes to BD dress code been permitted , incorporating hard hat with snorkelling equipment and spurs fitted with diving flippers instead of pizza cutters rowels.
Only the horses find it difficult to accept working under these conditions “we are modern domesticated animals we don't do out doors when the weather is not perfect,there are indoor schools water proofed rugs, warm stables we are no longer natural creatures we are warm blood “ Due to this attitude the modern dressage horse developed Unix skills to cope with these eventualities, like entering the arena in a self made RK position to avoid rain drops entering the ears, or the right angled neck position opposite to the wind direction, which swaps sides as one changes the rein etc.
Among the dedicated trainers still out there supporting his students was Marco de Graber the well known German trainer, dressed in yellow oil skins wet to the core, his voice could be heard offering last minute advice “ACH SOOOOO LITTLE MORE SOOO, DON'T FORGET SOOO “ it did not matter if it was a regular student or just some one that was a little lost just before the test, Marco de Graber was there to help and support, and as the the competitors exited the arena cold and wet he would greet them with “very goot you just needed a little more”
The weather resembled more and more the the north Atlantic in winter and the horses becoming more resourceful in coping ,one clever cob performed the whole test in reverse using his haunches as a wind breaker, no amount of guides from the rider made this horse change his stance, he was not going to get his ears wet.On exiting the arena the demoralised rider screamed at her entourage “WHAT STUPID HORSE “ ,Marco de Graber was there to pick the pieces “Your horse is cold you have to warm him up rub his ears” he said, the young Diva who obviously was un aware who Marco is, turned to him in a tone of voice reserved only to dressage husbands or wealthy dads, and screamed “WHAT DO YOU KNOW ARE YOU A VET”
to which Marco de Graber replied “I am VET I AM SO VET my testicles are swimming in my pants”