Flossy is well known to many on the British Dressage Forum as a teller of interesting stories and perhaps the odd joke or two. We have selected a few tales for your pleasure.

Students like you

Students like you
Senior trainer just finished instructing Plump Lady, as he summed up the lesson his parting words were “ I wished I had 10 students like you” One thing PL is not and that is a fool, she is well aware that in a BD got talent competition she will not even get an application form let alone an audition. Not only that her physical attributes handy capped her from following Senior trainer explicit instruction ,she also had a psychological aversion in following any male demands, what ever they may be and who ever gave them ,riding instructors included. (some thing to do with her ex husband)
She was sure that Senior Trainer was well aware that even mounting a horse was one of the most dreaded things she finds in the whole dressage curriculum , JUST THE THOUGHT OF RIDING A HORSE paralyses her to death, even Senior trainer must have caught on to, that her preoccupation with, mucking out ,grooming, grazing in hand, shopping for equipment and specialised clothing , calming feed additives, although horse specific , she is the real secret consumer , spending hours on the phone to the vet , horse whisperer, physiotherapist ,back person ,human back person , astrologist gynaecologist and so on , , are only to postpone the moment of truth in which she will have to actually mount the horse.
And then what a bout the sitting trot which Senior Trainer diligently works on improving
, Probably the one exercise that keeps her from participating in competitive riding, at least at a level above elementary , in spite of 27 years of regular instruction.
This exercise, un like shopping for riding equipment, requires fitness and suppleness. which are beyond the ability of any body that chooses a sport that involves another being taking the active part- the horse.
In order to master the sitting trot it requires training , coaching and hours of practice, totally contrary to her inherited traits of scaling down the level of effort, the moment her trainer is on the phone or out of sight she automatically reverts to the RISING TROT.
She is aware and sure that Top Trainer is aware too , that her contact issues of Holding of the reins creating contact between man and horse is her most hated activity ever , it is not that she doesn't appreciate the importance of a contact but it is more important to have the hands free to scratch ones nose or to wave to friends while riding a test , no one thought of more excuses why they cant keep a contact then her , when all excuses been unsuccessfully tried there is always her last words “my horse does not like it”
Although she is one of senior trainer most regular students of many years, she started training with him when he was just Junior Trainer. her financial contribution is rather in significant, as regularity for her meant, 1 lesson every 12 month, just on the day she ran out of cheques , cheque book was lost, or simply forgotten .
Plump Lady was convinced that Senior Trainer As an older dressage trainer that been in business for some 35 years , who have seen many arenas and many students was well aware that she cant perform many dressage movements and his demanding conscientious training makes him her personal enemy number one. On numerous occasions Senior Trainer commented that he can teach a 70 year old, or one that lost both legs in a IED to ride the 20 mitre circle better then her . Her ability to scale down the scales of training to her inability must have felt to him like a kick in the testicles , he works so hard and she scales it down.
“Why ? why ? would you want to have 10 students like me “ she asked him
“BECAUSE UNFORTUNATELY I have 50 like you” he replied