Flossy is well known to many on the British Dressage Forum as a teller of interesting stories and perhaps the odd joke or two. We have selected a few tales for your pleasure.

When to sell a horse

Paddy O'Donnell was very successful despite his humble beginning as a farmer’s son from Waterford county.  He made a fortune by trading farm animals on the Dublin stock market but his most lucrative business was buying unwanted warmblood horses from the continent, smuggling them back to Ireland hidden amongst consignments of pigs and then selling them back to the Europeans as Irish bred eventers.  He made bags of money by selling to the Germans what they had already rejected.
But life was not easy in those days and you had to know how to work the system.  There were so many European grants and subsidies available to the Irish that you had to be constantly on the ball to ensure that you didn’t miss any of these financial incentives.  Single farm payments, multi farm payments, entry level, exit level, set-aside, set to the other side, produce milk or don't produce milk.  Europe seemed to pay whatever the Irish did or didn't do.
Paddy believed that his children deserved better and he wanted his son Murphy to have an education and get a degree from a London university.  Young Mr. O'Donnell was dispatched to the big city with a vast amount of Euros and the firm instruction, “Come back home when you are a doctor, lawyer or a vet and practice in England for a few years so you make all your mistakes on the Brits.”
Young Murphy was a very sociable fellow and quickly spent most of his money by propping up the Polish economy via the London comfort industry, which was run by very kind polish girls.  His lack of money was a difficult situation to solve but he had an idea. Dressage!  Yes, Dressage!
He rang his dad and said, "Send over Jack my hunter, I would like to do some dressage while I am in England."
"Dressage?  What is this dressage thing?" asked Paddy.
"Dressage.  It is the French word for education and it’s very popular in England.  They all do it with their horses, even the eventers." replied Murphy.
"What do you mean?” asked Paddy, “education as in reading and writing?"
"Yes", said Murphy with a clear conscience as there are letters and test reading involved in dressage.
At the back of Murphy’s mind was the possibility of improving his social skills as he noticed that most men in the dressage world were preoccupied with the other men in the sport.  This left many women requiring assistance in areas which he considered himself to be very good, thanks to his Polish connections.
Jack arrived the following week accompanied by a large envelope full of Euros that were supposed to be used for Murphy’s tuition fees and rent.
This time, most of the money was spent propping up the Russian economy via their investment branches in the West End that were run by stern looking men, wearing black suits with bulging pockets.
Another call to dad soon followed and this time Murphy got straight to the point, "Listen dad, there is one more course that I want Jack to take.  It’s English elocution lessons, they can teach horses to speak without any trace of an Irish accent but it is not cheep."  A week later another envelope arrived.
Three years later it was time to come home and young Mr. O'Donnell was up the creek with out a paddle.  He had no money, no degree and no speaking horse (without the Irish accent), not to mention the Polish girl with two babies.
Murphy placed another telephone call to his dad to say that Jack sent his regards and was looking forward to debating the current Irish financial problem with him.
"Very impressive, I can’t wait to see my reading and speaking neddy", replied Paddy.
Murphy hesitated slightly before continuing, "Dad, Jack also asked how the buxom barmaid from the King’s Head is.  You know, the one that you have been seeing to for the last 10 years, whenever mom is visiting granny."
The line went completely silent for a moment then Paddy's voice said, loud and clear,