Flossy is well known to many on the British Dressage Forum as a teller of interesting stories and perhaps the odd joke or two. We have selected a few tales for your pleasure.


2018 Dressage year in WORDS . This is the year the FEI decided to follow the aviation industry by employing a procedure called “ DENSIFICATION “ , this when Airline operators’ manage to squeeze more seats into one airplane then it was thought commercially possible possible . Some airlines even remove the toilets for extra seats and call it peak DENSIFICATION . The FEI shortened the GP in order to cramp into one hour as many tests as possible . Only time will tell what the FEI will do next to achieve peak DENSIFCATION . To my knowledge only judges are allocated a specific loo breaks during a competition , there is one way to make them hurry up and get on with the scoring . Board membership . BD on the other hand do the best to avoid any disruption to the daily running of the sport by employing the well proven procedure of “CO-OPTION “, which is recruiting known supporters , friends and family to the committees TO insures the herd behaviour is maintained , who said only horses are herd animals. IMMISERY is a well-known financial phenomenon in which in spite of economic growth , standard of living is falling . Very similar to common Dressage judging practice when one receives a comment “straight entrée good halt and the mark is only 6 “, or should we call it MISERING the already miserable ( the long suffering dressage husband ). While the general public are concerned about the effect of Inflation . Closer to home many dressage competitors are perplexed with what is known as “ SCORFLATION” , because while inflation is none discriminating effecting ALL, this new trend seems to effect only SELECTED few . “HENRYS” are High Earners Not Rich Yet - and they will never be ! They are married to a Dressage Diva with 3 horses . CLIENTELING ,Improving customer service by all sorts of technical means . In BD case the tactic is to have a national championship for every single members GENERATION ALPHA ; The latest generation after the Boomers and Millennial s .In the dressage world it means those that have never seen , even it photographs, a horse IFOTV (infront of the vertical). “BRAIN BELT” It is an 80 miles strip of the country compromising Oxford ,Milton Keynes and Cambridge, unfortunately it does not include Warwickshire, if it did the competition system fiasco would have been solved long ago . “WOMENOMICS” are the measures taken to help women reach senior positions in industry politics etc . With Charlotte , Isabel and Laura , the FEI should instigate a similar measures without the “WO” “ROBOCALYPSE” a worrying development which is the end of jobs because of artificial Intelligence . Not something we have to worry about in Dressage – can’t see a ROBOT performing a GP TEST – not even a short one . However as a trainer, I often wished some of my students will show a little more intelligence, even an artificial one will do . In the retail sector there is something known as “MARKETING INFLUENCER “ this is employing freeloaders and” BRAND ADVOCATE” to promote a company or a product on Twitter and Facebook . This is a very effective pre competition tactic insuring that the whole world , in particularly the local judges , KNOW that today Trigger performed the best ever halt only movement. Video available on request. To succeed as a dressage rider it require a certain kind of mind set . We are regularly reminded that however much we invest ,train and HOPE , there is always a horse that will go lame , a horse box that will break down and a judge that will NOD OFF during our best ever half pass. This is the reason most Dressage riders are in a regular state of ANTICIPOINTMENT insuring that when the expected happens they are not left disappointed . HAAAAPPPPpppyyyyy NEWWWWWW YEaaarrr !!