Flossy is well known to many on the British Dressage Forum as a teller of interesting stories and perhaps the odd joke or two. We have selected a few tales for your pleasure.

My husband's idea

One of the most challenging rolls of every “Dressage Husband”, “Dressage Trainer “ senior or junior and other members of the support team , is to insure that the judges’ comments are taken in the right perspective by the recipients . It is true that a score of 59 % has much wider implications than what is obvious to the un informed . However at the end of the day what the judge thinks about a test compared to matters of life or death , is only slightly more important . As Dressage SUPPORT TEAM it is our roll to help those that participate in this sport IS to put things in perspective AND TAKE ON BOARD that so and so is ONLY a Dressage judge, not the Queen (EVEN IF HE IS ONE ) or the pope himself . The judges opinion about us is only in reference to our ability to perform some obscure manoeuvres on a horse’s back in an empty stadium with no spectators . It is well documented that many Dressage Divas develop a judges complex , they genuinely believe that certain judges dislike THEM PERSONALY , hate their horse and only took up Dressage judging so they can dish out humiliating score to THEM and only THEM . At times these feeling can overtake ones perception of life completely . It is a fact that the birth rate within the dressage community is one of the lowest in the world , primarily due to judges negative influence over Dressage Divas interactions with their partners ;” You don’t understand HOW I FEEL !” , “That’s all YOU THINK ABOUT!!” “DDDOOONNNTTTT TALK TO ME NOOOWWWwww “ , and all these emotions after a “My Team Quest HALT ONLY TEST” . It takes a brave man to not fully side with a wife aggrieved about a dressage judge , however at times it is inevitable and In order to put things in perspective it is sometime required to take a stand and point to the “ Dressage Diva “ that the scores ,awarded to her represented (nearly) the truth. In circumstances such these , “British Dressage “ recommends that the right attire to be worn by the message deliverer should be a ceramic bullet proof body armour , a military issued helmet and cricketer’s shin protectors . All other unprotected body parts probably have been dealt with on earlier occasions . It seldom work , with the outcome that most Dressage Husbands develop their own justified “ JUDGES HATRED SINDROM “ . According to a friend of mine, a very senior BD judge, that happened to be a straight batting cricketer , competitors will stop at nothing to influence judges opinion. During the recent RF one Dressage Diva invited the said judge, to the seclusion of her 450k Olympus horse box , for an experience that until then he did not even dare dreaming about . Just as he was about the leave the mobile palace on wheels , He acknowledged to the Diva that her latest ploy to raise her scores could do with some more PRACTICE. ,”WHOSE IDEA WAS IT ANY WAY “ he asked . “It is MY HUSBAND idea !” was the unexpected answer AND she continued “ This morning when I informed my husband that you are down to judge my class to day , he turned to me in great animation shouting at the top of his voice - F,,,,,,K this judge ! - F,,,,,,K this judge ! - F,,,,,,K this judge !.