Flossy is well known to many on the British Dressage Forum as a teller of interesting stories and perhaps the odd joke or two. We have selected a few tales for your pleasure.

When do you tell

When do you tell Paddy Connolly the Irish equestrian federation “WORLD CLASS” performance manager informed his two star riders , Shamus and Murphy, about the future plans of acquiring some top class “School Masters” rides for the selected few on the world class program. “Where are you going to find the money for School Masters they don’t come cheap ?” Shamus asked , with Murphy repeating after him “Where are you going to find the money for School Masters they don’t come cheap ?” “Don’t U worry about “de” money Paddy mocked them, I am not the Irish equestrian federation “WORLD CLASS” performance manager for nothing am I ? After visiting endless dressage and dealing yards in England and Holland, inspecting and trying endless REGECTED equine specimens , the three of them ended at the famous yard of the equally famous German horse trader Mr ,Her Gottlib. Mr ,Her Gottlib was the most charming , accommodating horse trader and if anybody have a top class “Dressage School Master “ it is going to be Mr, Her Gottlib. Between them Shamus and Murphy rode and tried some 242.5 horses , but Once Paddy Connolly the Irish equestrian federation “WORLD CLASS” performance manager made it absolutely clear that it is a “Dressage School Master” not a bog plodder or midnight street trotter that the Irish are after, the situation started to look more promising . “Yaaaa “ Mr ,her Gottlib said “It is a DRESSURE horse you are looking VOR , Vy don’t YOOO say zoo. Com mit me !! “ This time it was Murphy’s turn. He was putting the big brown horse through his paces , half pass left , half pass right, extended trot etc. On the whole things were going pretty well apart from the odd miss communications due to Murphy’s broad Irish accent which obviously for a German horse sounded somewhat strange. After about 47 minutes He brought the horse to a perfect halt next to Her Gottlib and said “This is a zzuper horse just the kind I like !!! do you have one just the same but in a different colour?”. “Nnnooo prrrrobblem “ Her Gottlib replied “I ave vone !!! he is BEAUTIFULL AND very very very EXPENSIVE”. “ Money is no object” Paddy Connolly the Irish equestrian federation “WORLD CLASS” performance manager said with the two Irish lads repeating after him as if they were members of a well-tuned pop group “Money is no object”. It was Shamus turn to show the Germans humans and equines that when it comes to dressage The Irish know their onions as good as any other dressage nation . With encouragement from the other two , Shamus put the horse through the full repertoire of the RIVER DANCE group ; side stepping, back words skipping on one leg , forward skipping on two legs , the lot , and the horse responded to every wish and demand of his rider. After about an hour Murphy turned to Paddy and whispered in his ear “When Do you think you should tell Her Gottlib that we don’t really have that kind of money ?” Paddy thought for a moment and replied “After Shamus had a good go at some one time flying changes THEN I LL TELL HIM