Flossy is well known to many on the British Dressage Forum as a teller of interesting stories and perhaps the odd joke or two. We have selected a few tales for your pleasure.

Rude vet

Allan Gordon Smith DVM ,MRCVS , received an early morning call from the the dressage husband of Flora Armstrong Smyth the local dressage Diva. Making a short story long, Mr Armstrong Smyth accused Allan Gordon Smith DVM ,MRCVS , of being rude, offensive and un help full to his wife on the telephone, Baring in mind the position that the vet has in dressage Divas heart His behaviour and manner was more then just un pleasant , but hurt full. After her dressage trainer, personal trainer, hair dresser , horse whisperer equine phisio, the vet is the most relied upon human in the dressage Divas life. And the fact they have spent £242651.23 with the surgery in the last 4 month , Mr Armstrong Smyth would appreciate an explanation why his wife was treated so shabbily. “Hold on let me tell you my side of the story” said Allan Gordon Smith DVM MRCVS“ The day started with the left foot, I forgot to set the alarm and arrived at my first appointment an hour late to scan 21 and a half mares at twinkly meadow stud, just when I managed to get my arm settled into this unbroken 3yo filly my mobile went off , by the time I pulled my arm out , pulled my latex glove off (with my teeth) wiped the shit off my glasses , all what I had on the phones screen was a missed call. My next appointment was a castrating job at farmers Jones, up the Bracken mountain, It was his prized Herefordshire bull that was somewhat reluctant to relinquish the attachment to his prized appendixes. Eventually the Sadeline Lidocaine and the Cocaine took their effect and I managed to creep up on the b,,,,,r , torch in one hand Stanley knife in the other positioned my self close enough to do the job , and the bloody mobile comes up into life, ringing, vibrating, shaking like Shaking Stephen in a Rock & Roll trance.By the time I managed to straighten up, let go of the aching parts of my body similar to the parts of the bull I came to remove, all I had on my mobile was A MISSED CALL. This was only 9 am , from then on things went down hill rapidly. At 10,42 pm at last I was at home , on the kitchen table a note from the Mrs gone to Bingo didn't know if you will be back for dinner so did not prepare don't forget to change the baby. At this precise moment the phone rang and on the other side is your wife, and she asked “HOW DO I USE A RECTAL THERMOMETER “ “SO I TOLD HER”