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Flossy is well known to many on the British Dressage Forum as a teller of interesting stories and perhaps the odd joke or two. We have selected a few tales for your pleasure.
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Dont do stress
After somewhat a lacking performance during the Mount Ballan Regional Championship “Halt only (rising optional )championship” ,
Plump Lady approached a Top Trainer and asked if he can add her to his book of students, to help her overcome a small niggling training problem.
The issue was that Plump Lady during the competition became so anxious ,tense and nervous that her mind gone blank , she entered the arena halted at X and then could not remember how to continue , what movement to do next ? .No amount of shouting an screaming ,ranting and raving from the arena side by Junior Trainer had any effect “ WOULD YOU RELAX, JUST RELAAAAAX ,WHY ?? DON’T YOU RREEEELLLEEEXXXX!!!!” he screamed at the top of his voice , she could not remember one movement from the “Halt only (rising optional) test and stood there in the middle of the arena completely immobilized all 6 feet rooted and frozen.
Before Top Trainer had a chance to fully consider the pros and cones of such a move she continued.
“PPPLLLLeeeeaaaaasssssse I am sure that YOU in one lesson can teach me more than all the previous (in matter of fact 2789.5 and counting ) TRAINERS I have trained with over the years , PPPLLLeeeeeaaaassssse.
I am ever so ambitious , I can take anything in order to get to WHERE I want to be” she carried on “You can make me cry I will not give up , you can be nasty ,cruel or crude , I can take it all I am very very ambitious.
You can shout and scream at me I’ll take it “.
I understand if you lose your temper, get stressed, I can take it all I am very ambitious you know.”
At that moment Top Trainer finished weighing all the pros and cones and said “ OK , BUT let’s make one thing clear! I don’t do shouting or screaming . Telling someone that their current posture is doing TO their hairy and fairy irreparable damage, at 0.5 decibel OR at a voice that would have woken the dead is still telling them the same thing about the hairy and fairy . And as regard to STRESS I never, NEVER !! did or will do STRESS “.
Junior Trainer , listening to the on-going conversation ,untypical to his usual discreet behavior of seeing hearing and never saying, Like Junior Trainers should, turned toward Top Trainer and said
“YOU will, you definitely will do STRESS .
Top Trainer lowered his eyes gave Junior a piercing look “Jjjuuuniooor what are YOU trying to say ME? STRESS??”
“Yes you will” Junior repeated himself again, “you will do Stress PLENTY OF IT
YOU HAVEN'T SEEN her RIDE ”
Epilogue; Back at home searching the results page of British Dressage website Plump Lady realized she actually WON the Mount Ballan Regional Championship “Halt only (rising optional )championship” ,
Plump Lady approached a Top Trainer and asked if he can add her to his book of students, to help her overcome a small niggling training problem.
The issue was that Plump Lady during the competition became so anxious ,tense and nervous that her mind gone blank , she entered the arena halted at X and then could not remember how to continue , what movement to do next ? .No amount of shouting an screaming ,ranting and raving from the arena side by Junior Trainer had any effect “ WOULD YOU RELAX, JUST RELAAAAAX ,WHY ?? DON’T YOU RREEEELLLEEEXXXX!!!!” he screamed at the top of his voice , she could not remember one movement from the “Halt only (rising optional) test and stood there in the middle of the arena completely immobilized all 6 feet rooted and frozen.
Before Top Trainer had a chance to fully consider the pros and cones of such a move she continued.
“PPPLLLLeeeeaaaaasssssse I am sure that YOU in one lesson can teach me more than all the previous (in matter of fact 2789.5 and counting ) TRAINERS I have trained with over the years , PPPLLLeeeeeaaaassssse.
I am ever so ambitious , I can take anything in order to get to WHERE I want to be” she carried on “You can make me cry I will not give up , you can be nasty ,cruel or crude , I can take it all I am very very ambitious.
You can shout and scream at me I’ll take it “.
I understand if you lose your temper, get stressed, I can take it all I am very ambitious you know.”
At that moment Top Trainer finished weighing all the pros and cones and said “ OK , BUT let’s make one thing clear! I don’t do shouting or screaming . Telling someone that their current posture is doing TO their hairy and fairy irreparable damage, at 0.5 decibel OR at a voice that would have woken the dead is still telling them the same thing about the hairy and fairy . And as regard to STRESS I never, NEVER !! did or will do STRESS “.
Junior Trainer , listening to the on-going conversation ,untypical to his usual discreet behavior of seeing hearing and never saying, Like Junior Trainers should, turned toward Top Trainer and said
“YOU will, you definitely will do STRESS .
Top Trainer lowered his eyes gave Junior a piercing look “Jjjuuuniooor what are YOU trying to say ME? STRESS??”
“Yes you will” Junior repeated himself again, “you will do Stress PLENTY OF IT
YOU HAVEN'T SEEN her RIDE ”
Epilogue; Back at home searching the results page of British Dressage website Plump Lady realized she actually WON the Mount Ballan Regional Championship “Halt only (rising optional )championship” ,
