Flossy is well known to many on the British Dressage Forum as a teller of interesting stories and perhaps the odd joke or two. We have selected a few tales for your pleasure.

Modernizing dressage

The FEI program  to modernize dressage  was going ahead as planned  ,In charge of it  ALL  were two new executives,  head hunted specifically for the  job   to  MODERNIZE  and POPULERIZE the sport of DRESSAGE.
The one was François H,,,  a  former impresario  of   a   French    circus   and the other one was Frank Wanker Break  the well-known  PR guru  that helped president Obama  develop his anti-foreign  policy.
The two became  known in the equestrian world as Frenchy&Franky . From their  base at the FEI   headquarters  in Lausanne they  have  been  advising  and guiding   national federations  , show organizers  and   high profile riders  how   to glitz  up  the sport  and make it more appealing to a wider newer public .
“ Add some  colour   to the activities  in  arena “   their message   was    , “national costumes and head gear  to be used  when possible  in team competitions  (the Americans love it while the Sykes are still working out how to fit the  turbans,  over or under the crash helmet), International competitions  open to the indigenous   Equades  of the area represented  with a dispensations to nations lacking on horses, asses or zebras  power, to use what ever quadrupeds  available  . This new innovation emphasised  the diversity and pluralism of  our sport  but posed some further disharmony with the judges  scores   when comparing the head position of a camel  to a lama’s  when working on the bit.
Last but not least  was a suggestion that all free style will be ridden  to the tune of the relevant  national  anthem . This  idea was embraced wholeheartedly by most of the NFs  but caused some confusion when a competitor clearly  from the middle east   region had his camel performing flying changes to the tune of  um papa  band with bit of yodelling as vocal enhancement,  was that a coincidence  or a deliberate  move to impress the judges with ones deep  traditional   heritage of dressage.
The feedback  received from  all over the world was very positive  and new takers were ready to take up  the sport . An  Amazonian tribe  indicated they will   ,just  as soon as they cleared an area large  enough for an arena  in the mildest of  the rain forest.
As  a reward   for all their hard work   Frenchy&Franky  (and family  + friends and relatives  close and distanced ) were given  VIP  tickets  to the  DRESSAGE  events at   Olympic games allocated, as a  gesture  of inclusiveness ,  to Kiribati  in the north pacific ocean. (I bet you did not know there was a Kiribati-an  nation)
Frenchy&Franky   and the entourage sat through the whole  show enjoying the all excitement  enhancing  commentary,  The scandalous    stories about the participants and  the performance that accompanied  all this razz matzz  .
Towards the end of the competition  Frenchy  turned to Franky  and said “ Tell me frank isn’t  dressage competition supposed to have   something to do with  HORSES  ?”