You never know

Lady Suckley’s attempts at completing a Grand Prix dressage test regularly been sabotaged by which ever horse she was riding. It was the piaffe that always brought the test to a grinding halt or more to the point it was the piaffe that always came to a grinding halt

No amount of heaving ,kicking, shoving, rising or sitting , endless clicking , made her horse lift any leg for even the briefest of moments , from then on the total shut down lasted until the judge announced that the time allowed for this test expired and would her ladyship kindly remove herself and her horse from the arena by any means possible, towing vehicle acceptable .
And then British Dressage instigated the HALT ONLY championship , it was like a gift from heaven, the good lord answered all her prayers , at last a championship that no one can out pace her under any circumstance with any horse.
On the day , Lady Suckley entered the arena on her latest purchase , the top priced horse from the Brightwell sale, with a fool proof cunning tactics; She is to employ the piaffe aid as she reaches the designated spot for the halt and leave the horse to do what all her horses always do or actually not DO.
With body language exuding confidence and authority ( WHY THE OTHERS EVEN BOTHERED TO ENTER THE CLASS? She thought to herself )On reaching the X marker she gave the horse the usual signal and the horse responded as if he was a cat on a hot tin roof , or there was a nest of poisonous vipers under his feet , with activity matching a Duracell BUNNY her horse leapt from leg to leg snorting in rhythm, performing not 15 perfect steps but 115 perfectly rhythmical piaffe STEPS that made Fred Aster look like an apprentice tap dancer.
On her way to the lorry park lady Suckley was heard shouting in the most un lady’s like manner “F,,,,,,,,,,,G Horse B,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Y horse”.
Her best friend Plump Lady suggested “go calm yourself with long and STIFF ONE you will feel better, it is only horses” .
In the horse box Junior Trainer, her current trainer, was waiting .
“Junior ” she said in her low husky tone of voice “ be a good boy and pull my boots off “
She continued “and my breeches , take off my blouse too please, be careful with my brae!! don’t break the fastener.
And when all that’s been done , she turned facing Junior and said.
“ FOR THE LAST TIME !! DO NOT WEAR MY CLOTHS ever again !!!!” and she opened the drink cabinet .