Flossy is well known to many on the British Dressage Forum as a teller of interesting stories and perhaps the odd joke or two. We have selected a few tales for your pleasure.

Who is what

A Senior  Trainer  was watching   the working in arena  during the  Myerscough   Regional  championship , in spite  of the surface being  top  of the range deluxe    waxed    material   the amount of dust   raised by the horses  stampeding about resembled more  the  Buffalo   Bill   wild west show than  a Dressage  competition.
All this action was in preparation for the BD  “Halt  only test” , un informed   spectators could have mistaken  the activity  as a practice run for  the new   FEI   Grand Prix   test , in which  competitors have  to fit  all the compulsory  movements in 1 minutes and 22 seconds.
Enough is  enough  the Senior Trainer  thought to himself someone has to  put this  place under some  sort   of  order  ,         “   Dressage is a sport of  precisions, discipline    and control,    executing  a square halt against the clock  is neither   classical   nor modern , the red  ribbon on the black stallion is not a  prize  , it is there for a reason  “ GET OUT OF THE FIRING RANGE”  the Senior  Trainer  bellowed at the  startled lady  that was reaching behind the stallion to inspect the pretty ribbon.
Health and Safety  protocol  requires  an immediate  intervention.
The  Senior Trainer  entered the arena  and in an authoritative   voice    started   to create  some order in the chaotic  arena.
“All  Of You  AMATEURS     on the left  hand”   he  shouted  “   YOU  professionals  on the right hand” and then he started pointing a finger at    the individuals as he commanded   “You LEFT,  you RIGHT , SHE RIGHT HIM LEFT “    and so on   “ left , left , right , left   , right  , right “   until   he got them all in an organized files .
As the dust settled   and the  atmosphere  calmed down the puzzled  British Dressage  steward  approached the Senior Trainer  and  said  “This is amazing ,  what arena control you have  !!  did you learn this at a UKCC  course  ?   I have been stewarding  for 20 years and I can’t tell the difference  between  an   amateurs  to  the  professionals,   how do  you know Whose what ?“
Simple  replied the Senior Trainer   “The amateurs  they ride  with a gobsmacked look on their faces  ,mouth wide open, jaw  dropped   squealing     LOOK CARL HESTER IS OVER THERE.  The professionals  they ride around ignoring every one,   earphones on their heads  talking to themselves  about THEMSELVES”