Flossy is well known to many on the British Dressage Forum as a teller of interesting stories and perhaps the odd joke or two. We have selected a few tales for your pleasure.

Wonder horse

It was the horse number  4820.3  that lady Suckley tried   and from her body language   it was clear it was going    to be  the  4820.3  horse  to be  rejected.
The sale agent from the German  federation  of horse sales  GMB   was totally bewildered , he was in the business for over  47 years   and in spite of  him thinking he had heard it all , in all  languages , he had to admit that  Lady Suckley  reason  after reason for turning a horse down  were New even to him.
One horse was to  comfortable  so not challenging enough  , another to uncomfortable   so   over challenging  parts that   need not be over challenged .  some  did not  match  with her colour coordination  scheme, reason after reason  that only made sense to her and only her .
At his wits end  he  asked  “VOT  OORSE  DO YOU VONT MADAM ?”
Her reply    reasonable  as expected was  “ The horse I am looking for  is Valegro   mark  II  , (a  little better than the mark  I as this one will not have Charlotte’s  help in negotiating  the GP test,  but Lady Suckley  ), anything else can be just the same  “
“Accchhh  ZOooo “  said the sale agent from  the  German  federation  of horse sales  GMB   , “YOU VONT A  VWONDER HORSE !!   , I   have many  Vwonder ---full   horses  COME  MIT ME MADAM”
The sale agent led Lady  Suckley  to the large barn  and  as he was passing each horse  he   gave  Lady Suckley  a very detailed information as to the horse’s breeding  , attributes , competition  record  etc etc etc.
As they got to horse number  47  he skipped the next one and proceeded   straight to  horse number 49.
“wwwaaaayyyy   ,haaayyy,   whaaaat about number 48  ?”  Lady Suckley dragged him back  to the ignored horse.
“TIZZE  VON IS NOT VOR YOU  MADAM”  Was the reply.
“Why not?” she asked
“TRUST ME  its not for you   , LOOK  at this black one”  was the sale agent  reply.
Few horses  further  down the passage  and Lady Suckley  “I want to   try that horse in box number 49  “
“Madaaaaam  TAKE my word”  the sale agent tried to  reason with her .
Cutting  a   short story shorter  , 30 minutes later  the horse was loaded into Lady’s Suckley   expending,  extending  500k  Oaklyn  super horse box    and  a cheque for a similar amount  nestling comfortably in the sale agent pocket .  
As the sale agent  and his assistant were waving    their  hands to the departing  lorry   he turned  to his assistant  and  said “I hope you are learning  son   , no one will teach you that  in any collage or business school” .
Lady Suckley drove her  horse straight  to her trainer’s yard  Senior Trainer.
While she  was warming the horse up she relayed   in explicit details about her  German  shopping experience and how she managed to procure this  WONDER horse  from under the Germans noses.
Senior Trainer  nodded his head  and mumbled “definitely   a WONDER               horse“
“SO you think it’s a GOOD ONE” Lady Suckley  asked   enthusiastically .
“I don’t know about that”  he said   “ but it is   a WONDER  how  YOU
  fell to the OLDEST TRICK IN THE TRADE” were Senior Trainers  last words.