Flossy is well known to many on the British Dressage Forum as a teller of interesting stories and perhaps the odd joke or two. We have selected a few tales for your pleasure.

Missing diamonds

The  subject of  dressage and bling  has been mentioned many  a times among members of the dressage community.
Although the FEI and other governing bodies   forbid the application of any   ornamental blingy    staff   on tack or clothing while taking part in official dressage competitions  , many riders believe that the time have come for dressage  to join the 21st  century   ,  as Carl Hester suggested   recently  in    Horse  and Dog   magazine,   at least   for the freestyle,  riders should be permitted to dazzle up their attire.
Secretly  Dressage  Divas  has been doing it for some time , with discreetly positioned  Diamanté items on tack or body.
The latest craze to effect  (mostly)    the female  dressage population  is the  procedure known as  “  Vajazzling  “   (please Google  should you require further  information) . The thought  behind  this innovation   is   that;  the FEI  can stop us using  glitter  where everyone can see it  however   they have no say  what ladies  do  with the parts available to be seen   for  the   only few   (in most cases), the result     is the same , glitter , bling and jewellery  where ever  placed , make  a girl feel good about herself.
One of the  first exponent of this new  craze    was  the   Diva  of all   Dressage Divas  Lady Suckley . Like everything that  Lady Suckley   does also  her  vajazzle   was more than most could  even  dream of , she informed to all that were interested and even those that were not that  interested ,that   her   vajalizzed  area was not covered by ordinary  blingy   common glitter but   with real DIAMONDS.
During  the  preparations for the  national championship it was noticed   by all that Lady Suckley was no longer  coached   by her long time regular trainer Marco De Graber ,  later  in the evening  Lady Suckley  informed   her friends that  Marco de Graber  was no longer her personal   dressage trainer  and he is forbidden by her husband to set a foot  ever again  in their estate.
“How come ?  WHY?  After all these years  , what brought all that ?” she was asked repeatedly  .
Lady suckle explained  “ I was having a  dressage lesson with  the focus on the position  and use of  back , Marco De Graber  was assisting me in finding the correct motion of hips and pelvis, he prodded  my waist into place with one hand   while pushing the  hips with the other , as we all know this situation can become a little intimate  but  acceptable  as  it is for  the    good  aim of achieving  a   better   dressage seat and posture.
“The same night  “    Lady Suckley  continued  “While  attending to my lady parts I noticed that few diamonds were missing from my  Vajazzlided area  , they could not just fallen off!!!!.
“DIDN’T YOU   feel his hand down there ?”   Her friends asked.
“yes I did” Lady Suckley replied “BUT I did not think he was after the DIAMONDS”
She continued  “My husband is furious   after all he has done for him   and Marco de Graber stole HIS DIAMONDS”