Flossy is well known to many on the British Dressage Forum as a teller of interesting stories and perhaps the odd joke or two. We have selected a few tales for your pleasure.

Equine psychic

The latest innovation  in the BEF training  for gold   program is the recruitment of a  specialist  Equine Psychic/clairvoyant .
British riders already enjoy the benefits of  ; trainers, sport psychologist, physiotherapists  and other experts , but  now  In order to give  them the   a cutting edge advantage over  competitors from other nations , added   to the list of experts  was   a well-known  Equine Psychic.
The idea  came   from members of British Dressage forum  where one  poster asked the question  “Would horse related stress  can be  helped by the services of an Equine  psychic ?  is there a better way of dealing with the  anxiety  of: is ones horse’s  is   happy in his work? , is he  a willing partner  in the pursuant  of dressage excellence  or other competitive sports”  .
If the ordinary  rider is bogged down with these questions  , what goes through  the mind of those  about to enter an arena  at a world championship or Olympic games  where there is real test stress  of    “Is he happy he is here ? does he remember the test ? (the horse ) , I hope he can count  to 15 ?  , sure I can’t  “ and many other questions  that circulate  through one’s mind before an important competition   .
There is only limited  information that a trainer  ,psychologist (human or equine)   and other professionals can provide  as to the horse’s  state of mind  and most of it would be hypothesis  any way    as no one really knows what goes through a horse’s mind just before he enters the ring  in the WEG or other  championship  ,  AHa  AHa  AHa    not quite   , a Psychic/clairvoyant   they know  , they can read minds  and see  the  hidden ,at least that what they make us  believe they do  .
We all know that Charlotte  test was slightly marred  by Valegro  pooing  during the first piaffe  , it was easily  preventable  should  Charlotte was able to communicate  clearly with Valegro   “Are you ready  boy ? “ she would ask prior entering the stadium    via the medium  with him relaying Valegro’s reply    “I have got to go to the toilet  mommy   AND I AM NOT USING THE FRENCH PUBLIC ONES  YOU KNOW I CANT SQUAT “  .
The BEF  realized that in order to prevent  the unforeseen  a mere  £250   a session  is money well spent  and contracted  a well-known   Psychic/clairvoyant    to assist the other professionals   in  the  team preparations.  
On his  introduction  day  with the   team  members   the well-known  Equine  psychic   introduced himself  with the opening  words  “ I KNOW WHAT YOU ALL THINK ABOUT THIS   PSYCHIC   , YOU THINK IT IS MAMBO JAMBO  I KNOW WHAT YOU THINK”
At that moment  one rider glanced at another and   whispered  “This guy is good  that exactly what I was thinking”, to which his team mate  nodded in agreement  “ exactly what I was thinking   he is GOOD” .
With confidence and assurance  the  “Psychic Medium”,  which actually was very large  and  not a medium  by any stretch of the imagination, approached the first horse stroked him   from  the neck  over the shoulders and then moved  to the rear  of the horse , all the time TALKING    loudly   “good boy, GOOOOD  BOOOOYYY  “  .Just as he was  standing behind the well-muscled  hind legs with both hands tickling the horse where  horses like (some of them)   to be tickled, the horse raised his tail released some gas and then doubled barrelled  the individual behind him  flinging him  50  yards across the arena   face down  .
Both the chairperson of the BEF and the high performance manager  rushed to the rescue . As they were helping the  DAZZALED  Psychic  on to his feet brushing the arena’s surface off his cloths  He mumbled  loud enough to for all to hear   “F,,,,ing              Sh,,,,t     I NEVER EXPECTED THAT ONE”