Flossy is well known to many on the British Dressage Forum as a teller of interesting stories and perhaps the odd joke or two. We have selected a few tales for your pleasure.

Teach me how to ride

Junior  Trainer planned to get  the job of an assistant rider  at a top European  dressage stable.
He thought  a good plan would be to brush up on his continental  riding techniques by having a lesson or two with an Old Trainer .
On the day while he was walking   on a long reins around  the arena  the Old Trainer inquired  in which style he would prefer to be taught  the old BHS way the modern  UKCC   style  or how he normally teaches ?   “How  you normally  teach of course   ”  Junior said   “ So Old   Trainer  lit a pipe and sat quietly in the corner  of the manage ,  after few minutes  he called  Junior over to him and in a soft quiet voice  said  “while you   are trotting  on a long reins use the opportunity to supple and loosen your body  do these exercisers  with your shoulders  ,neck  etc,,,,,,,,”
Junior replied   “Dont worry about this, I go regularly to my physio  he makes sure I am supple and loose  I even have the weekly massage  from the same girl that does Valegro”  
Few minutes  passed  and Old Trainer mentioned to  Junior Trainer  that one has to be really fit  for these continental jobs  and may be Junior should do a little rising trot  without stirrups to strengthen the legs.
“Dont you worry about my strength   and fitness  ”  JT assured him  “I go regularly   to the gym  and my personal trainer puts me through a proper workout  it called   cross fit”
“SO  LETS DO SOME SITTING TROT  with out the stirrups  to improve posture and balance”
“ I have already addressed  this issue this morning  before leaving home  I spent an hour on a Swedish ball and the Anky free rider  which at  £495  is not very free and my other trainer uses the  Eckhart  Meyner   Balimo  chair”  junior  shouted across the arena  to him.
“Just do it so I can see how level you are “ Old Trainer suggested again,
Junior  Rider reply was that Old Trainer should not bother with these matters as he have booked  a BODY  ANALYSER  session  on a horse SIMULATOR   and in any case he regularly visits his Alexander Technique manipulator to deal with all posture imbalances.
Old  Trainer continued to watch   Junior ride and noticed the imperfections of the figures , and the erratic (not erotic) execution of some movements, he signalled to Junior  to come closer  and said   “in order to ride good circles   and lines you have to  FOCUS and VISUALISE  “ 
Junior  Trainer  looked at him and said  “WWWHHOOO  that exactly how my  sport psychologist and NLP  consultant  put it”
Some more time passed with Junior riding different dressage moves  , some with more and others with less success  until Old Trainer   commented      “it is your COORDINATION  or lack of it which causing the problems”
Junior looked some what surprised  and then said  “nothing wrong with   MY  coordination   I can juggle  three balls with the right hand , brush my teeth with the other , while skipping on one leg,  I have supper coordination   my  Yoga teacher can confirm this ”.
Old Trainer  banged the   turned over  pipe   on the gate  and asked  Junior Trainer   “What goal have you set for this lesson  Junior ?”
“It is obvious “  was Juniors reply    “FOR YOU TO TEACH ME HOW TO RIDE”.
Some years later  Old  Trainer  met Junior Trainer  in some social affair   and asked him   if he ever got that job of assistant rider  at the top continental dressage yard ?
“No I did not” Junior said  “but I got one in the   CIRCUS  instead”