Flossy is well known to many on the British Dressage Forum as a teller of interesting stories and perhaps the odd joke or two. We have selected a few tales for your pleasure.

Hanging Hay nets

We all know that qualifying  as  a Dressage Husband is one of the most character building  and REWARDING  experiences  any  man can  have  as the following story will reveal.
A mate  of mine  holds a secondary  job to his Dressage Husband duties    as   the chief  scientist   to C.E.N.R.   (centre  of European  nuclear research  in Switzerland  where they just  discovered that the “Big Bang”  was not actually as big as previously  assumed,  I thought it was pretty common knowledge  according to most women)  although he is considered  knowledgeable enough to   handle highly sophisticated  issues in matters that can effects humanity , he is not deemed competent  enough  by his wife  to perform many of the routine tasks around the dressage yard  .
One of the latest causes  to a nearly complete   D.D.D.D.   (Dressage  Diva Domestic Dispute.) between these DD  and her DH  was the issue of  hay nets hanging.
The DD was ultra particular that all hay nets should hang absolutely  level straight, all at the same height, in perpendicular manner  to the ground . Straightness  is the essence of dressage it should start in the stable and carry  all the way  to  the arena, was her  rational.
Unfortunately   this issue  caused many disputes , DD insisted that   the only way to tie the hay nets  is    from the right  over the left , bellow and over with the result that  all hay nets  will  hang absolutely  level straight, all at the same height, in perpendicular manner  to the ground , DH  with his expertise in physics  was adamant that the force of gravity will over rule any method of tying  and      hay nets  will  hang absolutely  level straight, all at the same height, in perpendicular manner  to the ground even  if  tied  from the left  over the right , over and bellow . As always last words are of  DD  who shouted at her departing DH “ YOU MAY KNOW PHYSICS BUT YOU DON'T KNOW HAY NETS THEY WILL NOT HANG STRAIGHT  “.
Experience has taught  all DHs  all over the world  that In circumstances like these  the only way to pre-empt  a long  D.D.D.D. Developing is to go spend some time in  a nice hot relaxing bath.
While DDs all over the world In circumstances like these , compellingly stare at the hay nets in the hope that  laws of  physics will be proved  for  once wrong  and miraculously  the hay nets will move 0.00001 degree from the perpendicular  to prove that  science may be science but any thing to do with horses has its own ground rules.
After what seemed like ages   DD had to admit  that with all the will power she exercised  the hay nets were hanging absolutely  level straight, all at the same height, in perpendicular manner  to the ground , Uncharacteristically  she conceded  that may be  her husband in this rare instance was right and it will be  a good  financial move to acknowledge it to him in person.
She rushed  to the house opened the bath room door just as her DH was getting out of the bath  bending forward rear towards her with his legs slightly apart he heard her exited voice “ you will be pleased  to know  THEY ARE HANGING  OBSOLETELY STRAIGHT”  to which he replied  “Give it a break woman !!!   you are not putting any kind of string on  THEM  whether  you agree  with  science  or not”