Flossy is well known to many on the British Dressage Forum as a teller of interesting stories and perhaps the odd joke or two. We have selected a few tales for your pleasure.

Castration

Allan Gordon Smith DVM , MRCVS , just received the annual call from Evan Gwilliam requesting him to come and castrate this year batch of colts.
Evan Gwilliam was a Welsh hill farmer that apart from sheep he also had a herd of Welsh ponies roaming the Brecon beacon freely propagating like Welsh rabbits ,their contact with humans averaged twice in the first 3 years of their life, one of them is the attempt to catch and castrate them at approximately the age of two , one could safely say that the mustangs in Nevada are more accustomed to human company then these Welsh hill ponies.
Allan Gordon Smith DVM ,MRCVS used to look forward towards this time, This is why ones joined the veterinary profession this was men work , not all this modern vetting of today , sitting in an office looking at scanners or imaging machine , any contact with real animal is done with latex glove to keep the hands clean this was challenge to look forward to. Every vet has a sporting activity in order too keep fit , some play football other rugby or Golf and Allen Gordon Smith DVM MRCVS castrate Welsh hill ponies.
On the day he would arrive at the Gwilliams farm at the bottom of the valley , invariably Evans will be on his way out to market with some ewes, "I will not be long start with out me they are just over there " (cant do the welsh accent ) and he will point to the highest peak of the beacon.
It was clear to all that he had no intention of getting back soon , what experienced hill farmer will risk his life castrating unhandled stallions up a hill - this is what we have trained vets for he will reason to himself.
With an army kit bag containing the tools of the trade ; pen knife, bolt cutters, chain saw , 5lb sledge hammer and all the sedating drugs available, the long track up the mountain will start.
AGS always had a young vet just out of collage with him , he felt strongly about the need for the younger vets to keep in touch with the real origin of veterinary science the field work.
The young vet inquired "what the hammer for?" Listen son when you are pined to the gate by an angry bull reluctant to relinquish his testicles its not the portable x-ray machine that will save you"
The operation went according to plan and by cunningness and ingenuity they managed to corner the targets with a swift move insert the syringe with the dope and proceed in with a maneuver known in the trade as "grab cut and pull " and retreat behind a rock before the the targeted animal comes to his senses.
Eventually the expected happened and the kit bag containing all the surgical equipment got kicked down the hill by one of the colts during a grab and cut move.
Some how Allan Gordon Smith managed to rugby tackle the colt to the ground and shouted to his assistance " grab these two stones and finish the job with them if we let go now half finished he will hold a grudge against the human race for the rest of his life "
The young vet shouted back "isn't it going to be painful"

"ONLY IF YOU CATCH YOUR THUMBS BETWEEN THE STONES" replied Allan Gordon Smith DVM ,MRVCS