Flossy is well known to many on the British Dressage Forum as a teller of interesting stories and perhaps the odd joke or two. We have selected a few tales for your pleasure.

Staying on top

Britten staying on top
The  latest BEF  search for the future  star   course was at a full swing , the arena was full of aspiring  waiting to be discovered  dressage riders, it was not a competition as such but every  one was doing their best to out  shine the others, those that were doing 15 one time changes had to be content with the fact the some one else will do 20 one time changes and under the judges noses, there was no end to the scope displayed by these future stars.
Watching all this was Ainsleyash  the newly appointed national coach evaluator  who  with  her  eagle eyes  noticed every detail happening in the arena and with commanding authority guided the candidates to  stay on the tight and narrow pass of pure dressage .
“HAAY   YOU on the stallion  correct shoulder in is not on  5 tracks,  put your fifth leg out of the way  you cant expect the judges to stay un bias  with that thing pendulating  for  all to see  “   Her voice was  heard from one end of the school to the other  .
“Stop this trot !  you might fool the  FEI  untrained judges but I know this is not his natural passage  it is  a flattened  trot been passagyed up “ she  scorned  a small lady on a large bay “I DONT CARE IF HIS PREVIOUS RIDER TRAINED HIM  TO DO  THAT,  IT IS  ( like sex  ) not British”
At the far end of the arena was a young rider a bout 46 years old on a lovely young stallion full of the joys of spring, expressing himself in leaps and harmless  bucks while the rider was texting to his trainer for advice “I must stop  this coverting”  he taxed  “ the national coach tells me I am giving dressage the wrong image”
“And we dont want to see sitting trot either It is no different to  RK   it is abusive to the horse. According to the latest research   commissioned by BD “ She shared her knowledge with the others  “ We tested and proved that horses  if given a choice between  an arena where sitting trot  is practiced  or a green lush paddock  will always choose the paddock”
With her open minded  attitude  Ainsleyash  regularly makes use of our national resources  and for every clinic our senior judges are invited, to offer   feedback and information from the judges perspective, the judges situated around the arena far enough from each other not to hear what they each has to say ,  mobile phones  confiscated and kept in the secretary's  office,  As the riders pass by, the judges will offer their opinion, some will offer both their opinion and other judges opinion  while the most senior judge the  FEI’s opinion,.
This innovative tactic  give the riders the choice of diverse multi sides of training technics; head up ,head down, passagy trot to  super trot or just correct trot  the more you know the more    confused you become  ( is an old equestrian saying just invented  ).
The point of the exercise is that in a real competition a rider will remember the in put of each judge and during a  test will vary his performance according to the opinion of the nearest judge  . To the arm chair critics  and Danish  journalists    the situation is challenging ,when to take a photograph to prove their point? when the horse approaches the judge at C with the head up or the judge at M    with the head down,  is the horse shows passage at E  or is it just a passagy trot at  B.
Although   Ainsleyash  is open to modern ideas and use of  new technology  in   enhancing  training and schooling, The   voice as  an aid  , the latest  in the FEI  innovations is most disliked by   her   , it is in  total contradiction  to years of  poker face tradition   she made her students maintain   under any circumstance .  With the new rule , permitting the use of voice,  judges do not have to actually see what happens in the test, marks can be awarded simply according to the riders pre and post movement vocals  “GO ! GO! You lazy son of a mare”  obviously this horse lacks impulsion and activity   the judge would comment  “six”,  an enthusiastic  “ GOOOOOD  BOY”  will automatically   be recorded as an  eight With out the judge raising his eyes off the   I  PAD  .
Watching all this  is a worried   BD high performance manager  who turns to Ainsleyash  and asks  “ I don't think there is another Carl or  Charlotte among this lot   I  am going to loose my  bonus”,
Ainsleyash  looks at him with a wicked smile on her face  and says "If all fails and no  Charlotte or Carl are found among this lot    I  got   A secret weapon  to insure British  dressage superiority   over the Germans  is maintained , 50.000 copies of Hugh Goggins  latest book ,  The passagy canter ,  will be published in Germany and made compulsory reading by the FN,  “  (they will never untie the knots in Damian Hill’s  legs)