Flossy is well known to many on the British Dressage Forum as a teller of interesting stories and perhaps the odd joke or two. We have selected a few tales for your pleasure.

German breeding

Junior  trainer   joined on one of  the Breeding  seminars  organized by   the  BEF  for young  breeders  from  the   UK .
It was a trip  to the  Mecca  of sport horse breeding  in Germany   the Hanoverian  area, there they were taken around the big studs and training centres   to see and learn. Top German   experts  very generously gave lectures , demonstrations  and answered any questions presented  by the British visitors,  the high light of the tour was a visit to the stallion station of  Her’  and Frau  Wurst   and the highlight  of this was   a practical  live  demonstration of stallion handling while collecting  semen  for artificial  insemination.
The group of  British  Breeders  assembled in anticipation in the beautiful  breeding shed which in the middle of, was secured  a full size artificial mare  made of real leather and rubber , for the occasion  the artificial mare was  plated and bandaged with white   blingy bandages   , equine  pheromones/perfume sprinkled all over her .
And then the stallion entered   the breeding shed, led by  Her’  Wurst     followed by the Frau carrying the  Artificial   thingy  for the semen collection.
Like a well rehearsed show the stallion leapt on to the  artificial mare  gently coaxed  by  Her’ Wurst  while the Frau at the opportune moment placed the artificial thingy on his  (the stallions) extended  manhood, as the stallion was pushing and shoving against the artificial  thingy  Frau’s  Wurst’s free hand crept between the stallion’s rear cheeks  and in a quick experienced move grabbed the hanging appendixes and  SQUEEEEEEEEZED   , the effect of this squeeze  could be learnt from  the pained look registered on Her’s Wurst’s face.
When  it was all over the stallion dosing off  on top of the dummy  (as is the custom  after activities of this kind)  Her’ Wurst turned  to the group of British  breeders and  and in his best  English  asked
“Vitch  van ov you  vants to  have a go  in vot you learnted  to day”  there were no takers, disappointed  he looked around and then he saw Junior Trainer  and  addressed him directly   “Younger man you look like a practical man come have ago, show them what you learnted  to day” 
A long silence Junior turning and sqwerming   suddenly said  “OK I  will have a go but in one condition that your Frau  does not Squeeze  me from BEHIND”