Flossy is well known to many on the British Dressage Forum as a teller of interesting stories and perhaps the odd joke or two. We have selected a few tales for your pleasure.

Shopping at Hartpury CDI

Shopping at Hartpury
Plump Lady took the opportunity of the Hartpury dressage festival   to return  the saddle she obtained last year to the special Dressage stand.
last  year  she purchased this saddle from the  well known saddler/ fitter  , it took her one ride to realize that this saddle is not going to do what is expected from a top class saddle ,it did not free the shoulders for an extravagant  extension or loosened the back  for a  perfect Durchlasik   way of going, there was not the promised transformation  to her seat  and the flying changes were still as reliable as the national lottery. 
Obviously she expected a complete refund  and a little more due to the fact that she housed this saddle for the last  12  month  ,  she was some what taken back that all what she was offered by the saddler/ fitter  was 100% credit  to substitute for any other item on the stand. 
“But I only rode on it once” she kept reminding the saddler fitter who in return offered her one of these new saddles with the suction cups  “this is a new technology in the bio mechanism of seat enhancement ” the saddler fitter  told her  “ if you also smile you could be confused for Anky  von gruesome “
Then he offered her one of these saddles with air bags which she declined  on the ground that the one trial she had  on this kind of saddle made her feel as if she was floating on air.
“What about Albioni” 
“No!! sat on one once it was to tight”  she replied
“An Americano”  he suggested
“Nop tried it once it did nothing for me”
And so it went, round saddles  square saddles long one thin ones those that are too tight or those that were too loose,  with her sensitivity  it only takes one ride and she can make her mind if it fits or not,  just when the exostipated  saddler/fitter  was about to offer her  the new version of the Flexi  Flax  model never to be tried by any body yet the Plump Lady stood up cut short any form of communication  walked out of the  shop   saying “ SORRY  I  HAVE GOT TO GO NOW MY SON IS DOING THE  BYRDS  SQUADING TEST”   the saddler/ fitter  thought for a moment and then shouted after her  “ I   ASSUME  IT IS YOUR ONLY SON”