Flossy is well known to many on the British Dressage Forum as a teller of interesting stories and perhaps the odd joke or two. We have selected a few tales for your pleasure.

They dont understand dressage

When all has been looking so rosy for the sport of dressage since the incredible success of the British team at the Olympics, can someone explain to me why, when given the opportunity to promote the sport further with the chance to have a 'dressage nations cup', Britain puts forward what can only be described as a lack lustre team of only three competitors this weekend at Vida ban. Is it that there is no BEF funding? Is it that there is too much else on? etc etc
Interested to know your thoughts.

 
In order to insure that  there will be no more incidents of   Britain putting  forward what can only be described as a lack lustre teams as recently been highlighted on BD forum , anew  plan been instigated.
Prior to any excursion off these island the selected riders will go an assessment session by  a senior BD official,  a highly respected  trainer,  judge or knowledgeable parent.
Bearing  in mind that   the required  lacklustreness   is mostly found in the remote parts of the country,  with limited or no  internet /mobile phone connection , the delegated Senior trainer  appointed for this job was already in a foul temper before he even reached the remote  arena by the side of the mountain  on the most in accesses able  part of the Scottish Highlands .
After  inspecting the  lack lustre team of only three competitors applied to  be assessed, Senior  Trainer was intrigued of the next candidate,
A  non de script   lady leading a  Dark Black  Black   horse  entered the arena   ,
Senior Trainer   greeted her  “and who are we?”
“Grey boy “  she said
“That's an unusual name for a Dark Black “  ST replied
“Yes I know”  the non de script lady said    “ I wanted to register him with BD   as  Dark  and Black  the   name given to him by  the  Dutch Fokker  but  it was turned down on the ground  that BD does not allow any thing that can be construed as racism and sexism    
“Off you go show us if you can beat the lacklusterness we    have already seen” ST urged her .
The non de script lady  turned to her horse and said  “ GO ON BL,,,,, sORRY  grey boy do the   FEI  PSG test”  to every one amazement un mounted the horse tossed his head and  started to go through the PSG movements, suddenly he stopped and in a perfect English without a trace of foreign accent  he turned to the non de script lady and asked  “where am I going  next”
“It is the canter half passes  now “ she guided him
After the line of perfect flying changes the Dark Black  horse halted, with a smug  look on his face turned to the spectators and said “ THEY WERE GOOD WEREN'T THEY  !!!”
The Senior Trainer  raised his head from his I Phone looked at the speaking horse then at the non de script lady and   said  “Forget about this  CDI nonsense you should take your horse to BRITTEN GOT TALENT”
The non de script lady asked “what the  TV show ? “
“yes that's the one”he said
“The show of people singing ,animals dancing and acting?”  she asked again
“that's the one “ Senior Trainer   said again
After what seemed like ages she turned to Senior  Trainer and said   “I don't think their judges  understand  dressage ”