Flossy is well known to many on the British Dressage Forum as a teller of interesting stories and perhaps the odd joke or two. We have selected a few tales for your pleasure.

How old is Senior Competitor

Every group of people has its own characters and personalities that give this group its own special flavour , the dressage community is not different. One of the most notable characters of the competitive dressage circuit is a tall distinguished looking Senior Competitor who have been on the dressage seen longer then any body can remembers , the thing that puzzle's every one is his ageless look , in spite of the fact that some believe he rode in the London Olympics , the 1948 not the recent games,(believe it or not there were Olympics with out the two RDs Richard and Robert) he looked younger then many of the other top competitors, he was fit and trim with out a shade of grey hair on his head ,always dressed with the latest clothes of equestrian fashion purchased at the most exclusive outlets like Chilly Equestrian or Dressage Designs.
He was always mounted on most expensive superb looking stallions, professionally trained by the most “ in” trainer of the time, his horses were the envy of every young junior rider or trainer struggling to make their name on native cobs or Irish Droughts crosses, what wouldn't they give to just once in a life time throw a leg over one of these equine Ferrari's.
This Senior Competitor would arrive at the show ground in his Lexus car, followed by the most extendable, expandable horse box, with an entourage of trainers, grooms and score of admiring decorative girlfriends.
He would ride his test on a horse warmed up by the “in” top Trainer , be guided by the current “in” Senior Trainer, hand over the horse when finished to the “living in” groom and in the few rare opportunities that the British weather allowed he would perform a “Hoffmann”
To all those that do not know what a Hoffmann is , here is a short lesson in British Dressage History .
Some 25 years a go at the Tallend school of equitation dressage show , still run on grass , arrived a very tall blond Scandinavian looking young man for a one off ride on one of that time well known Dressage Divas , it was the acclaimed Danish GP dealer rider Hasse Hoffmman , with out the attributes he gained in later years , glasses, belly pouch and receding hair count.
He rode in a commanding European style never seen in these Island before , on completing his test he handed the horse back to the Dressage Diva , proceeded to strip of his jacket and shirt exposing his bronze Viking like body and with a blade of straw in his mouth, laid on the grass pretending to be oblivious to the world enjoying the rare British sun .
The effect all this had over the female dressage fraternity that until then led a very sheltered isolated island life , was immeasurable, one could have scented the hormones and fermions back in Swindon 25 miles away, it was at this time that British Dressage judges were first introduced to the relevance of BIO MECHANICS and show organizers to the need for BIO SECURITY measures.
Even JLC who is the most focused competitor of all, seldom distracted from what is underneath her, performed a test on Dutch Gold (at advanced medium level) with her head turned, during the whole test, at right angle with eyes glued to spectacle by the side of the arena.
Molly Sivewright One of the doyens of British Dressage, proprietor of the establishment, requested this Mr Scandinavia to clad up as it is very un British what he is doing to the grass underneath him, wearing Top of the range Ray ban sunshades must have impaired his hearing.
On that day the Phrase “Hoffmann” was coined. for all those that are un sure what it looks like here is a link
With the development that we have seen in dressage over the last 20 years the distraction that such an incident would have caused to day would have been more unisexual then the single sex effect it had in those days.
The only other time that I noticed a similar effect over a large group of females was created and it is still , by my friend Oded Shimoni in the USA dressage world, a word of advice to him , it will not last for ever you will grow old and they will lose interest , those that will not lose interest you will have no interest in.
The biggest mystery that every one wanted to know was how old this senior competitor is and what is his secret of preservation, the question was so intriguing and the interest so large that eventually the Senior Competitor offered a £1000 for who ever would guess his age correctly.
Senior Trainer was astound by Senior Competitors recklessness with money but was assured confidently by Senior Competitor that no way any body could guess that his true age is 68 , “MY MONEY IS SAFE as it used to be in a British bank before the Labour party tried to fix what was never broken the economy ”he said.
Then during the Addington CDI he was approached by one very Junior Trainer ( here is his picture http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=496233057105234&set=a.141436515918225.26411.124980880897122&type=1&theater )
claiming that he can tell Seniors Competitor exact age but for this he needs to ride Senior Trainers Black stallion, after some deliberation out of curiosity Senior Competitor agreed but with a warning word to the Junior Trainer “IF YOU MESS MY HORSE UP I LL HAVE YOUR ARSE young man”
The Junior Trainer leaped on top of the stallion and with minutes he was one time changing, piaffing passaging , extending the trot collecting the trot, he was doing every thing one ever wanted to do on a GP horse that belongs to another rider,
He even called his mom on the mobile during a triple pirouette shouting down the phone “MOM GUESS WHAT I AM DOING AT THE MOMENT”.
After what seemed to Senior Competitor the longest 45 minutes of his life , Junior Trainer halted pated the horse and in a loud enough voice for every one to hear he said to Senior Competitor you were born on the 7th of July 68 years ago.
He dismounted collected his money and started walking away, he hardly reached the other side of the arena and Senior Trainer shouted “and you could tell my age from riding my horse?? “ “no not from riding your horse, this I can tell because I heard you telling Senior Trainer how old you are “ Junior Trainer shouted back and then he added “and don't forget I MESSED YOUR HORSE UP GOOD AND PROPER “