Flossy is well known to many on the British Dressage Forum as a teller of interesting stories and perhaps the odd joke or two. We have selected a few tales for your pleasure.

Sitting trot at the Regionals

Any body familiar with British Dressage Forum recent posts must be convinced that most of the British Dressage riders find the sitting trot the biggest bugs bare of all the elements of dressage.
From these posts one gets the impression that British dressage riders believe that sitting to the trot was introduced in dressage tests just to their inconvenience.
The average dressage rider occupy every un occupied moment in searching, developing or inventing a ploy to disguise the fact that although supposed to be sitting to the trot they are actually rising, from a range of straps and pulleys or to “cover all” cloths, every thing been tried. From the judges input to the debate it is clear that most have seen it all, WELL SO THEY THOUGHT, until this year Meyerscroft regional championship in which Plump Lady took part in a medium level free style test .
As Plump Lady entered the arena moving down the centre line in a brisk trot the judge at C could not believe his eyes, was it real or his imagination? Plump Lady's riding jacket was open, all here shirt buttons undone and her enormous bosom exposed to all to see, as the pendulous mounds of flash loomed closer and closer towards the judge, more hypnotised he became, not only he was not used to a sight of this kind in a dressage arena he was not used to this kind of sight in any area, by the time he recovered from this induced trance and rang the bell to terminate this un dressage like performance, Plump Lady gone four times around the arena giving to the expression of “ Free Style” a completely new meaning, to the enjoyment of all the spectators that non have ever seen a larger pair of Begonias then hers.
The emotionally traumatised judge, in a just developed speech impediment, addressed Pump Lady , “De Deee Deeaaa Dear madam I cannot find any where in the BD book a rule that covers circumstance as such but please for health and safety reasons could you adjust your attire suitably for the occasion”
Plump Lady reply was “according to my trainer who is a very top trainer it is exactly the right attire for this occasion, to improve my seat and posture in the sitting trot”
“How that ? “inquired the judge
Her reply was
“ Well just this morning while warming up for this class I commented to my trainer how uncomfortable and difficult I find the sitting trot , it is not the hammering on my nether parts which is the problem but the bouncing and flopping of my breast that I find so hampering when sitting to the trot , when I said how despondent I am that after all the instruction , lunge and body awareness lessons , mechanical horse training etc I surely I should not have my eye sight impaired by an out of control bouncing boob when sitting to the trot ,what do I have to do, to be able to sit like a pro? I asked , my trainer last words were just stick it out and it will come - so shell we carry on with the test Sir ”