Flossy is well known to many on the British Dressage Forum as a teller of interesting stories and perhaps the odd joke or two. We have selected a few tales for your pleasure.


Personal legacy
Top competitor realized that there is only one thing left for his legacy to be complete, he showed the world how to school horses and riders to the highest level,how to ride both classically or the modern dressage style, how to breed and rear horses etc etc , all that was needed is for some one to continue with the family tradition and carry his genes for the future , HIS OWN OFFSPRING .
Not a simple decision for a true dressage master that spent all his adult life in a closet and batting for the other side, how ever as it will be a real contribution to the dressage world he will make the sacrifice.
In his meticulous attitude he went to select the lucky girl that will be honoured to take part in producing this future world class dressage rider.
Every thing top competitor had or done in his life is beautiful, he is always immaculately dressed and manicured , his house is so clean and tidy it will pass any military inspection on any day, his horses are the most gorgeous looking equine specimens that ever existed perfect in any way, he only drove the latest most luxurious of cars regularly valeted , he just had to find the female version of himself to fit into the roll of Mrs Top Trainer.
He asked his friends , he joined dating clubs , advertised on forums that he was willing to marry the perfect woman.
There is some thing funny about females and dressage trainers particularly of the other persuasion , he had a list as long as a chines telephone book of willing aspiring dressage ladies ,but non of them fitted the bill and passed the perfection test, to us that play straight cricket they were the most gorgeous looking females on earth, Julia Roberts look alike with the intellect of Pamela Anderson , what more can a man wish for . Top competitor found in each and every one of them a tiny tiny itsy bity tiny bit of imperfection, a molar that was not in perfect line with the one opposite, one calf a millimetre thicker then the other, the tiniest smallest imperfection only noticeable by those that are trained in perfectionism of real dressage.
The situation was getting pretty grim and Top Competitor more and more despondent , “will he have to forget about his legacy”
And then out of the blue one of the dads of one of his pupils hinted that his elder daughter who is a real stunner is worthy of a consideration.
Cutting a long story short, she was just that, in horsey terms she was top of the class , the best at show, the one the judge would like to take home, just what Top trainer did.
Nine month later the new Mrs Top Trainer gave birth to the ugliest most peculiar looking baby, if Stephan Spielberg was running an audition for a modern version of the hunch back of Noter dam this baby would have won the roll for both QUASIMODO and THE GOAT.
Completely perplexed Top Competitor looked at the baby in the cot turned to the father in law and asked “HOW DID THIS HAPPENED , your daughter which I selected according to my standards, and me the envy of every man on earth HOW DID WE PRODUCE THIS ???? , don't tell me this is breeding don't want to hear” , he went and set down all dejected. The younger sister came and set next to him after a lengthy period of silence she suddenly said “I know how it happened”
“HOW? HOW ? “ asked Top Competitor
“Well you see when you married my sister she was already tiny tiny itsy bity little bit PREGNANT “ the little girl said