Flossy is well known to many on the British Dressage Forum as a teller of interesting stories and perhaps the odd joke or two. We have selected a few tales for your pleasure.


One of the most infuriating things while riding with others is the occasional moment that some one gets in your way, this normally happens at the most crucial stage of your training, you have just managed to locate a free diagonal you are all set up to attempt your first ever line of one time tempi, you drop your eyes down on the instrument panel, checking wind speed , directional azimuth engine reves etc the whole process was 2.2 seconds , you look back up and!!!!!!!!! cantering straight to wards you on the suppose to be free empty diagonal a fat lump of lard of a rider totally oblivious to the fact that it was your only chance ever to get all the things right to perform your first ever line of one tempi, like a lunar eclipse the next opportunity will be in 100 years and on the other side of the globe .
These thing do happens, and to my experience too often , there are few facts involved with “T o t g i t w” and they are;
More then one rider with you in the arena and he will be “T o t g i t w”
There is a mathematical equation worked out that the larger the arena and smaller the number of riders working at the same time, more likely to be one “T o t g i t w” on the other hand on a 15 meter by 10 meter arena with 17 riders working towards GP no one will be in any body way.
Research confirmed that the more one is skilled in other spheres , the more degrees and university qualifications one has, the more likely he or she are to get lost in a 20 by 60 arena and get in every ones way .
It also been noticed that the only vacant space in the arena will soon be occupied by others simply because you intended to move into this space.
If you happens to ride a stallion it is a fact that the one with the sexiest cob mare will stick to you and your horse like a fly to a sticky paper, no amount of shouting I am on a 4 yo stallion will make her move to the other end of the arena, to the contrary , this rider will come even closer to insure she heard you right the first time , You politely requests this lady to give you some space by saying “ madam if you get any closer my stallion will jump on you and then you will have expectations that even your husband will not be able to full fill” you get a dirty look and a “THERE IS NO NEED TO BE SO RUDE I was only admiring your stallion “
Riders are like flies they all gravitate on to the same area in the arena.
“T o t g i t w” comes in different models, there is the apologizer, a rider that makes no effort what so ever to follow some sort of code of riding, to him or her the left to left rule is like for the Brits driving on the continent, it is our way and the only way , on the other hand he or she are so apologetics full of remorse, when they ruined your training session completely ,the only English word they can speak is “SORRY, I AM SO SORRY” they even send you emails apologizing sorry fully about the last time you rode together. All what you want to say is never mind the sorry just look where the f,,,,, you are f,,,,,,, going next time , but they are so polite about it all you cant bring yourself to be so hard which of course encourage them to continue being so careless the next time they ride with others.
And then there is the panicker ,a rider which has one and only compelled wish, which is not to be in anybody's way, this rider is so worried that he or she will be stigmatised as “T o t g i t w” the moment they set a hoof in the arena they becomes so rigid as if attacked by rigger mortise, with the result that they are halted right in front of you not able to move left or right with eyes shut they hope no one will notice them.
Another way of dealing with the intricate of not being in the way is a person that studies the activity in the school in the most through method ,he quickly assesses which way and what every rider is doing and makes an educated decision where and how to proceed with minimum disruption to others in the arena, great one rider we can cope with and then he or she changes his or her mind and makes the unexpected totally non predictable manoeuvre ending smack in your face .
It is not only while riding that “T o t g i t w” causes may ham ,you could be sitting in the corner of the arena observing your student, quietly through the one way radio system you insure the warming up is progressing according to plan when suddenly an overcast shadow block the view , one rider decides to remove all the winter attire of hers and the horse before continuing with the riding, during the winter the whole procedure can take about 27 minutes, in which your poor student is aimlessly lost in the arena wondering why his instructor that charges a £1 a minute gone into mute mode (or has he became German trainer suddenly)
To be honest one must not be over critical of the “T o t g i t w”s , it is not their choice to be “T o t g i t w” it is some genetic fault those that are simply cant help it, as we don't hold it against those that eventually come out of the closet , for others we have to accept they are “T o t g i t w”, excluding the few that deliberately gets in the way out of spite ,because they never mastered the flying changes they will make sure nobody else will too.
Getting in ones way while riding is so frustrating , also to those that actually get in the way, that some choose to ride, in the most obscure lonely hours of the day , when there is no one else using the arena,
I commented to one of my fluffiest clients “I suppose you solved your predicament now that you are riding after midnight and before day break”, “not at all not at all “she replied “I still get in my own shadows way even when there are only the two of us in the arena”
This story is a complete fiction any resemblance to a real life character is coincidental, how ever if you get an old fashion look from some ,you are probably a “T o t g i t w”